1. Monday, October 19, 2015

    do you ever experience mood swings? 

    beyoncedo you ever feel super happy one minute and then terrible the next and you wanna just move back to maui and assume your title on the royal kawuuanuaan throne?

    there are sooooo many bible stories that start off by saying things like King Leroy died and was replaced by his son King Melvin who also did evil in the eyes of the Lord…

    i never wanna do evil in the eyes of the Lord.

    i wanna do the opposite of evil so badly and i know that means to just keep fighting through the emotions.

    emotions that i rarely have.

    but i have them, canada, trust me, i do.

    i may seem all cool calm and sexy on the outside like all the live long day but inside me, sometimes, there’s a tempest and a teapot

    and im all “but f tea”!

    i play fantasy sports, i do online gambling, i water the grass at the volunteer fire station, all so i can keep a handle on these rarely surfacing feels.

    and usually it works but today was a tough one.

    how can we be two games down to the miserable mets?

    where did they come from?

    we beat them 7 games to zero in the regular season. sure they didn’t have the Cuban. but one Cuban doesn’t make a spoiler.

    it hasn’t even been the cuban that has killed us, its been their pitching and that one guy who said anti-homosexual stuff at the beginning of the season.

    i keep telling myself this was not supposed to be the year, it was supposed to be next year.

    BUT WHAT ABOUT BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II?

    WHAT ABOUT BOB?

    WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

    WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OLD PPL WHO MIGHT DIE BETWEEN NOW AND NEXT YEAR?

    I hate that huge new scoreboard, I hate anti gay Mets, and I hate that Barack Obama isn’t gonna be at the game tomorrow to throw out the first pitch with a goat standing next to him so he can help end the curse.

    I am feeling emotional right now.