no one wants to be the guy reading the poem at such an affair.
but it’s being organized by my favorite drummer in rock, Steve Tsar.
also it’s nice to have your comfort zones stretched.
i dont like reading my poems. like my niece, i dont like being the centre of attention.
i like sitting in my helicopter at about 5,000 feet and blogging once or twice a day and veering off into the night and fighting crime anonymously.
then i like to eat soul food with a pretty girl and lick the bbq sauce off her finger tips.
i dont think im a very good writer. i dont know how i got in the college of creative studies. i dont know how i got in the nexus.
i dont know why LAist hired me and i for damn sure dont know how the LA Times hired me and let me write on their political blog.
and for surely sure i know i cant write a poem to save my life.
i do know though that poems make girls take off their pants – even the bad ones, which is why i will write a brand new epic poem for this fiesta.
i know exactly what it will be about, it will be about this conversation i had with a gang member drug dealer i met in south central the other day
and how we talked about having girlfriends who wanted us to lick their asses.
because i think poems and poetry readings are painfully boring, i think i will name this poem
tony please wont you eat my ass.
because if i was at a story / poetry reading / rock show and some weirdo got on stage with a cubs hat
and said this one is called tony please wont you eat my ass, i might actually pay some attention
even though i dont like attention, even though i cant write and even though i will be betraying the trust of someone who was once dear to me
who asked me to do her that favor since she obvs couldnt do it herself.
now the easy part: writing the epic poem. which i will do as close to the event as possible in order to freak myself out. thanks.