1. Thursday, October 8, 2015

    WE WON! 

    cubs win

    WE WON THE WORLD SERIES! WE WON IT ALL! WE ARE NO LONGER LOSERS OF THE UNIVERSE!

    wait that wasnt the world series?

    that was just a playoff game to see who would get in the playoffs?

    too bad, it feels like we just won game 7 and i dont care about nothin because we won it in their park agains their best guy against the team with the second best record in baseball.

    now we get to play our rivals who had the best record in baseball!

    and we are rolling baby nine games in a row without a loss

    the perfect time to be peaking, in october, the only month that matters

    Todd insisted that we go to this Cubs bar instead of a strip club and i must say he was right.

    it was like being that Bee Girl in that Blind Melon video

    here i am a guy who wears a Cubs hat nearly every day and there i was surrounded by lots of other men women and children with Cubs hats. it was glorious.

    i saw fat cub fans, skinny cub fans, cub fans from the LA Times i never knew were cub fans

    the bar was beautiful, turned out i had been there once before. it was while driving Uber

    this black girl with tattoos on her chest wanted me to go in her apartment with her after i dropped her off.

    its a bar called The Hideout, which is ironic because normally when the Cubs or Bears play an important game i stay in my house and hideout and watch it in my pillow fort and squint because i dont wanna see what im pretty sure imma see.

    BUT THESE CUBS ARE DIFFERENT

    theyre young, theyre confident, theyre scary good, rookie catcher guy who they never let play catcher hit the ball into Philly last night

    jake arrieta the greatest pitcher of all time shut out the pirates, got hit by a pitch and stole second

    THIS IS OUR CUBS

    there was a fight, sorta, but noone cared because the Cubs are now gonna face the St. Louis dirtybirds.

    i got drunk i got happy i walked through the streets of DTLA a man in a dress followed us while talking to himself.

    and i said sorry but we’re gonna have to beat your favorite team

    and that series starts tomorrow so get ready.