dear students of ucsb
no one forced you to go to the greatest party school in the world.
you coulda gone to cal poly. you coulda applied at long beach state.
dont laugh, they have a fucking pyramid at long beach state.
instead you chose UCSB. U Can Study Buzzed.
and on top of that you paid much money to live in Isla Vista. greatest town there ever was.
it’s great because it’s close to the beach, everybody’s beautiful, and the best parties are thrown there. legendary ones that cant even be mentioned because words are just dumb sounds compared to what goes down on dp, sabado, trigo and the others.
frats are a joke, but especially so in 93117 because besides the town being super fun, the people who go to school there wisely reject the idea that you have to buy your friends and lose your individuality in a bizarre struggle of forced acceptance.
fuck. that. shit with a 6 foot beer bong hanging from a rickety balcony.
you have your entire life to be a boring disgusting sellout
terrified of offending this one or that one.
you will have decades upon decades to dress like a bozo and say yes to things that inside you dont agree with one bit.
but when you’re in college you get to lose yourself while you find out who you are.
it’s the expansion and contraction of the universe. and the universe is you.
you get to grow your hair like you want, kiss who you want, dance like you want, think all the things youve never thought before, be in bands, try new clubs, eat new foods, meet new people
and best of all dress up as something obnoxious, slutty or hilarious and walk down isla vista’s main street with your friends on Halloween
and laugh and laugh and laugh.
unless you totally fuck up and forget you’re free.
you live in america, fellow gauchos, the land of the free and the home of the brave.
it is not brave to sit back and let the so called law tell you you cant play music after a certain hour.
it is not brave to watch cops year after year come in to your town and treat you like youre some criminal, like you did something horribly wrong, like you are some slimy kid with no rights or lesser rights or temporary rights
you have exactly the same rights as anyone else in this whole country.
for example you have the same rights as the 100,000 people who came to West Hollywood on Halloween and dressed up and laughed and drank and smoke and made out and, you know fucking had a Halloween.
three people were arrested in West Hollywood during the biggest bash in all of LA saturday night.
28 people were arrested in Isla Vista despite only 500 of you walking around town.
how is that possible?
it’s possible because you are allowing it to be possible.
it is possible because you are listening to the losers who tell you bullshit like “it is what it is”
we’d be speaking french german or spanish if this country believed in “it is what it is” and thank God above we dont.
we are americans, we are gauchos, and we are free.
trust me, there will be more than enough opportunity for you to bend over to fear and take it and pretend it isnt totally humiliating
for this brief period of your youth, i beg you,
sure, some of you may die.
but right now, hardly any of you are living.