1. Sunday, November 1, 2015

    theres nothing you cant do in the whole wide world, i promise 


    have i told you jeanine is sleeping on my couch? yep. actually its her couch. it’s a great couch. i’ll miss it when she goes, but everything changes and goes back again.

    this is a photo of jeanine and i in maui. i had just been fired by Sears. as the boss was doing it i said but i’m your best salesman.

    he said you are my Second best salesman.

    i said, if you think i did something wrong, Pablo does like 5-6 things wrong before he even makes his first sale.

    he said, yes but Pablo speaks Spanish and you do not.

    i was all wow. you realize i am going to Maui next week.

    he said, oh i didn’t know that. do you want me to delay this until you come back?

    i said, no… no…. No.

    he said, seriously man youre way bigger than selling tvs at Sears.

    i said, i know, and youre right, i shouldnt be working here any more.

    so Jeanine and I went to Maui and the whole time i was all, youre gonna die when you get back to Isla Vista. youre gonna be homeless in the park oogling co-eds and dancing for a buck with a broom so you can buy a 40 and drink it on the beach.

    which didnt sound so bad drinking beers on a boat to Molokini (pictured)

    and when i returned i wrote to Magnavox and told them that i hadnt ever seen one of their reps come in to our store in Santa Barbara, could i apply to be the rep.

    and they said, not only can you, but we will give you a salary and a company car.

    and my first training was with my old boss, my old co-workers, and i learned a few key phrases en Español

    for my good buddy Pablo who suddenly wasnt smiling so wide