1. Monday, November 2, 2015

    todays sass’s birthday, shes 24 

    sass in my closetpicked up this 21 year old brazillian dude in my uber on halloween.

    first thing he said was im afraid im gonna cheat on my girlfriend tonight.

    he was not dressed up in a costume unless he was going as a handsome young brazillian with a nervous conscious.

    i said, where is your girlfriend? he said san pablo.

    we were at a stop light. i said you wont cheat on her, dont worry.

    and just then three young women dressed as sexy cats walked by in their high heels just laughing and laughing

    he and i watched. they were probably the prettiest women in the whole wide world.

    i said how long have you been dating this girl.

    he said, since we were 12.

    i said TWELVE!?

    he then showed me a picture of them when they were 12.

    i said, listen. i know about love. and love is magical. i also know your english is terrible so just listen to the sounds.

    your weiner is an important thing. it believes in love too. it followed you to the USA.

    here in the USA you might meet a chinese girl from canada named sass, who, im told, loves barely legal brazillian boys.

    he said i dont like asian women.

    i showed him this photo.

    he said, take me to her.

    i said, too late amigo shes in paris right now. but my point is you may meet someone like her and 30 years from now you’re gonna be very mad when you see someone like her on tv and you will kick your dog or goat or moose and say WHY DIDNT I MEET THIS SASS!

    break up with your girl immediately and start your life.

    and he said, youre right. thank you sir. and he tipped me one dollar on a $20 ride.