1. Tuesday, December 29, 2015

    when i was in high school, i totally wanted a girlfriend 

    when i was in college, i totally wanted lots of girlfriends

    when i got out of college, i totally wanted a company car.

    when i got a company car, i wanted a new company car.

    when i got a new company car, i wanted my own business.

    when i got my own business, i wanted an employee to do the things i didnt wanna do.

    when i got an employee, i got bored and moved away.

    when i moved away i started getting more money than ever before.

    when i got more money than ever before, i bought the most ridiculous things, sometimes i wouldnt even open the boxes that they came in for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.

    now i dont know what i want any more.

    im not sure i even want a bikini girl to pour me a beer in a boot and serve it to me while i waterski barefooted.

    actually i am sure.

    i just want a cold beer, served out of a plastic cup, in the bleachers of wrigley field.

    bikini girl optional.