1. Tuesday, January 5, 2016

    it just dawned on me that i’ll never be a colonel 

    COLONEL SANDERSwhich means i’ll never be a major

    or a captain

    or a lieutenant

    or a general

    or an admiral

    which means i’ll never even be a rear admiral

    who doesnt wanna be a rear admiral?

    since i was a kid playing cowboys and indians, i was always saying fuck that i wanna be the rear admiral.

    all the other kids would say aint no rear admiral in cowboys and injuns

    and id say omg look over there!

    and theyd turn around to where i was pointing

    and id kick em right in the rear

    and run and say TELL YOUR MOMMA YOU WERE KICKED IN THE REAR FROM REAR ADMIRAL PIERCE

    OF THE F U PLATOON.

    but what i really wanted was to be a colonel.