1. Friday, January 15, 2016

    todays national hat day, so i wore a hat to work 

    national hat dayive been wearing a Cubs hat since i was a lad.

    when i was in high school id walk down the hall and people would pass me by and say

    cubs suck
    cubs suck
    oh god the cubs suck
    cubs lost yesterday
    cubs suck
    cubs rule!
    cubs suck

    in college i would wear it and people would say omg are you from chicago? and id say the burbs – represent! and we’d talk about the cubs or chicago or where they were from or whathaveyou.

    but nowadays i wear my hat and dudes mostly say your team is great or your team is doing great or things of that nature.

    today i was at a Panerra Bread and i saw a dude with a black Cubs hat with a white C on it and i said, nice hat.

    he didnt notice my blue Cubs hat (Post Season edition) and said, are you from Chicago?

    i spun my hat around and he was all ooooooh hi!!!

    he told me that most people make fun of him i said, i dont know anything about that.

    the good news about the Cubs getting ready to win the world series is this year im ready for it. i have all the hats i need. now i need one that says world champs. or greatest team of the 21st century. or f you white sox on the side.

    or this ones for you, harry

    it will be a very special day. i’ll probably cry and propose marriage to the first girl i see. we’ll probably make out right there in the street.

    there will be humping. who knows. consummation. fluids of all sorts.

    a child will be conceived. one that will be called

    champion.

    or pion for short.

    and she will rule us all.