1. Sunday, January 24, 2016

    why donald trump will lose by one vote from being president 

    donald trump

    we all have self esteem issues.

    which is great otherwise we’d all be insufferable assholes.

    the fact that donald trump truly believes that he will build a wall

    a great wall

    and have mexico pay for it is rooted in the same belief he has

    that he would make a great president of the united states

    even though he would be a disaster

    and probably gang-stabbed by the masses like caesar before his first term was over.

    he is winning in the polls because he is winning in our hearts.

    he is the voice that we wish we had when we are hit with tough obstacles

    “my haters love me. my opponents are losers. my whole life’s on fleek.”

    “i can’t be bought.”

    only that last thing matters.

    because money (and not great ideas) makes the world go round,

    everyone else in the race has to pretend that corporations and evildoers are

    not

    lining their pockets with literally millions and millions of dollars.

    we always knew that was fucked up but we resigned ourselves to the concept

    that money is speech and there was nothing else we can do to stop it.

    theres always a way.

    and the new way is hire a billionaire.

    but unlike most billionaires, donald trump has a way with words.

    he’s also believable, entertaining, and weirdly the guy next door.

    we’ve definitely sat next to a loud mouth like him at a ball game.

    his only problem is he has no experience in this realm, he takes bad advice,

    and many fear he is a little too trigger happy in regards to nuking countries who also have nukes.

    what donald trump is doing, though, is pushing the envelope so wide that someone

    who once would have seemed super radical

    next to trump, seems palatable.

    that super radical is def not secretary clinton

    but it’s bernie sanders,

    the sort of crazy this country just might need right now.

    if you dont think america is nuts you arent paying attention

    voted for bush twice, then obama twice

    and its allowing there to be a discussion about the DH in the NL.

    if you drug tested this nation its piss would be dirtier than tap water from flint michigan.

    the only thing american like better to do than watch football, buy guns and drink bud light

    is voting for the most extreme person running for president

    we want the world and we want it now

    larry david is going to have the best

    four years ever