1. Monday, February 22, 2016

    my team was stolen from me tonight, ladies and gentlemen 

    nirvana

    see that team? see how great that team is?

    it used to be better.

    last night i drafted that team in probably the greatest Auction Draft performance i’ve ever done.

    in a 20 team league.

    i let them go for all the high priced talent, spending soooo much money on this guy and that guy

    and then i jumped in and brought home the world.

    it was a Hitters Only league which should have tipped me off that this was not being run with someone with a full love of the game

    nor of the sportsmanship of Fantasy Sports

    because at around 6pm i was alerted that my team had been had been hijacked

    BY THE COMMISSIONER

    and was going to keep them hostage unless i was willing to trade him

    one of my favorite young Cubs

    Jorge Soler

    soler power

    nickname Soler Power because he can hit the ball to the sun

    and dim it a little.

    busblog nickname Dugouch because in April of 2013 in the minors he got tangled up at second in a game in Clearwater, FL and exchanged words with an infielder which lead to the benches being cleared. When he got back to his dugout, he grabbed a bat and ran over to the Clearwater dugout and threatened to use it on someone.

    in his first game in the pros in 2014 he hit a home run in his first at bat.

    he was a starter for the Cubs in 2015 for a few months until he hurt his leg. he ended up hitting 15 home runs, but damn did he shine in the playoffs.

    In October, Soler got on base nine times in a row, in which he patiently received five walks and then hit two home runs, a double and a single.

    of course the commish wanted to steal him, he’s gonna hit 30-40 homers for the cubs this year.

    and i snuck him out of the draft late when everyone had blown their wads on Albert Pujols and Josh Hamilton who everyone knows wont even launch 25.

    bad trades

    this afternoon the commish offered me a series of ridiculous trades that no sensible GM would accept and i politely explained my objections

    and then around 6 i got an email that said my team had been taken over by someone else

    something that i knew could happen but somehow i thought i would have to accept such a drastic thing.

    so i wrote an email.

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    and he wrote back (i am not revealing his email address because im polite)

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    this was not a reply i thought i would get

    (actually i didnt think i’d get any reply, id dealt with fantasy cheaters before and they were usually kids who were too scared to talk.)

    but i didnt think he’d admit to the obvious – that he was a scoundrel!

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    it’s terrible to have absolutely no power in a situation.

    but that doesn’t stop you from dictating terms even though you know a cheater on Monday will probably cheat again on Tuesday

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    to which he replied

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    which upset me a great deal, sorry ma

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    for some reason i thought this would work

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    and then he surprised me

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    which gave me the chance to give him one final way to make things right

    which, by the way, is possible because anything anyone does on yahoo fantasy,

    a commish can undo. easily.

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    did the man not read when i said i was a Cubs fan?

    or that i may have just Kanye’d all of fantasy sports in the draft

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    im probably the most mellow person youve ever met

    but now i was getting upset.

    dude stole and then lied.

    in a fantasy baseball league that means nothing.

    is this real life?

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    is this what the world will be like under two terms of president trump?

    is this why people send their kids to private schools?

    is this what people say when they say they want their country back?

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    i want my country back

    Update: I communicated with Yahoo and told them about this flaw and told them to ban the Commish. They refused.