1. Monday, March 21, 2016

    do you know i love you, i do 

    obama trumpi also love that Obama is having a nice victory lap. he deserves it. no one thought that he could do the things he’s done.

    in fact when he won the first time i thought, they just let him win because they didnt wanna clean up the mess that W left him.

    but he did clean it up. by himself. and he didn’t even make it look tough. the GOP did their best to obstruct him but he just smiled and said pick a card any card.

    and they said we’re not playing this stupid game

    he said why not.

    they said because if you guess the card you look like Cool Obama always picking the right cards and we look like Dumb Old Sticks In The Muds

    he said, cut the pack then.

    they said no. because if we cut the pack then you will do something amazing and we’ll look like Dumb Old Bumps on a Log.

    and President Obama said, we are all in this together. i ALREADY won the presidency. you’ll never be able to impeach me and i’m not gonna quit, so, you know, if you work With me, it will look like we are both doing this magic and you can add it to the reasons people should re-elect you, because you

    actually helped the people who voted for you

    and they thought about it for a minute and said, no, we will not pick a card, we will not cut the deck

    then Obama said, thats ok, i understand, i mean im just a half white half black man from kenya who

    WHAT DID YOU SAY?

    i said im half black and half white

    NO, THAT OTHER THING YOU SAID!

    he said, oh that, well i actually wrote it down on a card, pick one and it’ll be written on it.

    YOU WROTE THAT YOU WERE FROM KENYA ON A CARD?

    you’ll see when you pick it, the president said and they leapt at the deck

    they took a card, it was the Ace of Spades

    they frowned and threw it on the ground

    of course it landed face up and read:

    <3 Hawaii In Da House <3