1. Thursday, April 21, 2016

    i knew she was a model right away 

    modelshe was tall, skinny, carefree. made me wait.

    i got pinged about 7 minutes away. i was in venice. i forget why. who knows.

    it was surging almost double the normal price so i accepted it.

    youd think if you ping an uber and 7 minutes later youd be ready, but think again. life isnt like that. youre gonna wait. the pin was dropped on a lifeguard station on the beach so as i went down as far as i could on the street i called.

    hey this is uber

    hi yeah, can you wait just a minute, im in the candy store on the boardwalk.

    did this piss me off? of course. it’s my fatal flaw. it’s the thing that will probably kill me one day. it’ll give me a heart attack. for some reason i believe that if when you order your uber and it says he will be there in 7 minutes, you should be outside waiting when it says he will arrive.

    NOT omg i have 7 minutes, lets browse and then BUY THINGS at the candy store.

    so as i waited in an alley right near the beach i took a snapchat of the scene – which was beautiful – the sun had set – the seagulls had descended – the shops were closing up – the tourists were strolling

    the palm trees were saying just enjoy where youre at, tony,

    not where you think you should be

    so i did.

    and she emerged from the candy store, a tall


    dark figure with good hair and a little bag

    she got in behind me

    said, wanna gummy bear