1. Thursday, May 5, 2016

    new yorker gets in the car says how long till we get to the Grove 

    benzit was rush hour, we were on the other side of beverly hills

    and the Waze said 17 minutes.

    17 minutes i told him.

    he says i’ll give you $20 if you can get there in 11 minutes.

    so i peeled out and said, hold on on bro

    the problem with trying to get from one side of beverly hills to the grove is theres no easy way.

    theres so many ways the traffic flow blocks you.

    just getting to La Cienega is rough. mostly because of 3rd Street.

    and of course all the olds who drive their cars so gingerly and cautious

    as if theyd never taken the route before. JUST GO ALREADY you say at every stop sign.

    but once you make the Uturn on La Cienega to get through the neighborhoods that amber once lived in you

    oh crap, i have 2 minutes to get through the neighborhood? i’ll never make it

    so i got on 3rd street and its jammed and because its not yet 7pm i couldnt turn left anywhere

    so i try and try and at one point theres something very dangerous i could do

    or i could wait like a a patient, responsible man

    btw the passenger in the back was enjoying my trip

    he had one hand on his phone, doing business deals (which were fascinating)

    and one hand on the handle of the roof.

    so of course i try the super dangerous thing!

    but a truck turned the corner and stifled my move.

    good try the guy said, adding, thats some weird puerto rican cabbie shit right there.

    after the truck passed i went for the danger again

    because who cares about life limb and cops

    and we sped through the alley behind the sandwich shop and went the wrong way through

    the farmers daughter

    and boom, the grove.

    still on the phone the dude pulled out his wallet and even though i didnt make it in time

    he still gave me the $20 because i tried my hardest.

    when he got out and shut the door i drove off

    and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed

    because that was so fun.