today is National Kissing Day, so let’s rejoice

me jeanine and welch kissingmy first kiss: Angela Romano in 6th grade after a fortuitious spin the bottle turn. We went into the bathroom, turned off the lights, and bumped heads. We turned back on the lights, repositioned, turned off the lights and whammo! my life was changed forever.

a couple of summers later i kissed sisters. first Diane at the pool then her sister Heather at a party about a week later. when it rains it pours.

my first time kissing a girlfriend was mary. i needed to build up courage so i waited for something good to play on the car radio. when Tom Petty’s “Breakdown” came on, it was game on.

girls ive kissed in mexico: two – jeanine (pictured) and the truest, maybe a decade apart.

girls ive kissed in europe: two – the dutch girl and the truest. one in holland the other in several countries.

girls i kissed in college: maybe 20 of them?

girls i kissed in college while high off cough syrup while rolling down a hill: kelly o’mara at anisq’Oyo’ Park

kissed a chinese girl? yes: in frisco

kissed a japanese girl? yes: Linda, in IV

kissed a korean girl? yes: in LA

kissed an indian girl? yes: in frisco

kissed a black girl and a white girl? yes: oh Canada!

kissed nine girls in the same night? isla vista baby!

kissed a girl in the car and then told her she was bad at kissing? yes, twice

kissed a jewish girl? oh yea

kissed a redhead? come on of course!

first time a girl bit my tongue on purpose: myra

kissed a girl with a tongue pierce? san diego

kissed a girl i later regretted?

no ragrets


there was a time when the cubs could barely justify one all star


yesterday it was announced that they would be sending SEVEN Cubs to San Dieger

next week for the All Star Game:

their entire infield, their center fielder

and their two best pitchers.

in a perfect world id be going too, but tickets are ridiculously expensive.

and also i hate san diego and i hope if falls into the sea.

and also they are making the players wear uniforms reminiscent of the 1984 Padres

which is on top of my list of reasons for hating san diego

and hoping it sinks into a sweaty goob of magma.

but still i would love to go to the game but

i will instead watch it on tv

like a proper american

without having to leave my humble abode.

(still sorta hoping for magma)