1. Wednesday, July 27, 2016

    theres cat hair on my cubs hat 

    Elvis Costellotheres cat hair on my shirt.

    when i rolled over to one side of my bed there was cat hair there too.

    the girl on the couch spent the night else where last night so i shut my door and gave them

    the entire run of the mansion

    other than my messy little room

    and at an early hour they stuck their paws under the door

    and meowed and rattled walls

    and demanded to see the man of the house.

    due to one thing leading to another i had not retired until 3am and i did not appreciate this disturbance at the heron house

    so i threw a shoe at the door to shut them up

    but they found the shoe string of the sneaker and pulled at it

    thus making the door bang that much louder

    so i threw another shoe

    and another.

    and finally a book

    and two more books.

    of course they thought this was a hilarious game.

    so i stormed to the door, making sure to be extra loud on the hardwood floor

    i heard them scatter and i whipped open the door and dramatically chased them around the first floor.

    i drew a bath.

    i caught them.

    i threw one and then the other in the bath.

    their feet touched the top of the water and miraculously flew elsewhere.

    they hid. wet. somehow mad AT ME

    i marched back to bed

    pulled the blanket over my head.

    and on the blanket – more cat hair.