but then there were all these strings attached as to whom i could bring
theyre trying to set me up with someone in the agency who is nice
and smart, and easy on the eyes
if you like that sorta thing
but shes super bossy and judgemental and plays things waaaaay too safe if you ask me.
she keeps asking me why i dont have a house
and why my apartment is better furnished
i told her that some things deserve attention and other things dont.
i told her that im laser focused right now.
when i get home i make sure the cats have steak in their bowls
and theres plenty of gingerale in the gingerale fountain.
then i look at the kitty litter to make sure their poops are blue and green
then i look in the fridge and make sure theres plenty of liver and bacon and apple cider.
whats the difference between apple cider and apple juice she asked me once.
and i said there are some things that deserve attention and other things dont.
then i told her i turn on my bedroom tvs and fire up my xbox and ps4
and she asked why do you need both game systems.
i told her, are there only blondes and brunettes running around? she said what?
i said there are more than just those two systems, you know.
and i said then i switch on the ceiling fan and open the window and guess what, im about 80 percent satisfied with life right there.
she said what about love?
i said, are you the pokemon of love that i better catch or someone else will get it and live forever and ever in utter happiness
and she couldnt say yes so i said, then you probably should either grab a joy stick
or order us some soul food because this is the part of my day where i take off my pants.
and thats how i lost my tickets to Boston tonight