remember that time

moxiewhen everything was beautiful and you could meet a cute blonde babe at a blogger mixer and

you could get her number and she let you drive her home in her porche

but she’d say my place is messy, how about yours

and you take her to your crib and youd think im the luckiest man in the world

and you knew she was maybe a republican, but nothing serious because those times were innocent

and she’d say i’ll have a drink with you but im not sleeping with you and youd wink back and say uh huh

and youd slip into something more comfortable (sweat pants and a robe) and she’d say why are you lubing up, i said we werent sleeping together

and youd say oh im 97 years old, this is for my arratica.

and shed say whats arratica

youd say i get it whenever a smokin hot babe who i only knew from stage and screen is somehow in my lair but shes gonna wanna be the little spoon

and because im a gentleman ive just gotta close my eyes and think about pete rose all night.

remember when there were things about pete rose that you could think about other than him selling his autograph in vegas malls

wearing a weird Donald Trump hat but instead of lets make america dumb again it says

hit king

and soon shes asleep and you think is she drunk? how is she asleep? how does a girl fall asleep in a strange mans bed that quickly

a strange man fully lubed with his arratica grease on his personage

christmas lights twinkling, lou reed serenading

disco ball rotating

smoke machine

machining

and