i have been acting and feeling very very strange the last week or so
and i dont think it will be getting any better any time soon.
the cubs are going to win the world series
and it’s already starting to freak me out because
this is not something that me or anyone younger than 109 years old has ever experienced
and this team is so good and lovable and likeable and calm and chill
and next week im flying to chicago for my annual visit and by the time i see a game at wrigley
it will be that little inbetween time after theyve clinched it
(which they’ll do tomorrow or Friday)
and before the playoffs.
but still it’s weird. so weird.
like the pretty girl in school saying omg no tony is the prettiest.
today the cubs beat the crap outta the cardinals
our oldest player hit a home run that went about 6 and half miles.
then the first baseman, who in any other year would be the MVP
(but its gonna go to the third baseman bc he’s having and even better year)
hit two home runs like no biggie.
all in our rivals park.
i know some good people who are from st louis and i know at least one who lives there now.
lovely lovely people.
but i also know some cardinals fans who are miserable racists.
remember this is a team who fired harry caray at the peak of his career
because he fell in love with the boss’s daughter.
they ended up together forever and ever and ever.
those are the things i should focus on right now during this moment of pre-freak mode.
i will be very drunk the next month.
maybe i’ll be drunk forever.
maybe there will be another chicago fire when this goes down next month.
maybe i will climb the scoreboard and jump into the flames below
maybe i will be saved by a st. bernard with a bucket of Old Style.
maybe we will just casually sweep every team we face
and it will be very very boring.
and they will run out of beer because of a fire in st. louis
and we will all drink water and pour water on each other
and laugh and laugh and laugh in the great wet tshirt contest of 2016
and i will laugh the most because i will win
bc im so pretty.