1. Monday, September 12, 2016

    ive been getting morning sickness for the last week 

    neal peart

    super weird. might have to see a doc. might have to get a pregnancy test. i knew i shoulda used a condom.

    as the day goes on things get better. except when it starts late in the day, then it gets worse.

    i mean if you look at my belly theres clearly a baby in there.

    never kicks though. lazy baby. sleepy baby.

    maybe the baby is reading.

    WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BOOK, BABY?

    so last night i ordered chinese via Uber Eats from one of my favorite Beverly Hills chinese joints.

    no way would they deliver to me normally but for some reason they full on deliver when you do it through Eats even though it costs the same.

    now how does that work?

    i felt bad for the driver who seriously had to go 1/2 hour to get me my sauce on side chinese food

    so i tipped him $5 but even that didnt seem like enough so i gave him a big kiss and squeezed his ass.

    and i told him, the Lord loves you more than you know.

    i offered him my cats but they were hiding behind the couch.

    i ordered chinese because thats the way i like to eat my carrots and broccoli the most.

    sauteed in chinese spices and gravies and weirdnesses

    the beef from this joint, China Wok, has the same texture as the shrimp.

    i dont eat a lot of beef. but when i do its either because of happy family fried rice

    or when im getting a super dodger dog at the game.

    maybe that baby isnt a baby but its a giant tumor and thats why i have morning sickness.

    if i die i loved you more than you know.