1. Monday, October 3, 2016

    mary came to my work today 

    maryand she dolled herself up real good to meet Oscar

    as you know she has a little fluffy doggie named Oscar so she wanted to meet his cousin

    i think she thought we were really gonna break open a case and let her go home with one, but instead of that i brought she and her smokin hot friend to our theater lobby and they took pics next to one of the giant statues.

    after all that nonsense we drove to lunch and mama mia how does mary’s boyfriends do it?

    this girl is nonstop energy the whole time

    funny jokes under her breath

    crazy schemes

    she knows all the movers and shakers. she has questions that she answers herself.

    she ordered a win with a side of ice because she knew the wine wouldnt be good.

    she asked for the salad because she thinks shes fat.

    i was all, baby if youre fat then all of america is fat

    ALL AMERICA IS FAT! she screamed and birds flew from the trees

    my fish was divine and every time marys friend told me her name i instantly forgot it.

    i kept calling her Juanita.

    Juanita is an Aquarius from Afghanistan. amazing eyes, great fashion choices and smart as a tack.

    i friend requested her on facebook and i dont think she will accept me.

    i dont blame her.

    i paid for lunch for all of us but when we got back to the car there was a ticket on it.

    mary was all, why didnt you put money in my meter?

    i didnt know i was supposed to.

    she said you drove my car, everyone knows the driver has to pay the meter!

    i do? i guess i do now.

    but it looks like our trip to vegas to see britney spears at the planet hollywood isnt going to happen bc they hate me now. and thats how the cookie crumbles.

    oh well, i still have my plantains in my doggie bag.