1. Thursday, December 29, 2016

    my favorite thing to do in life: nothing 

    once, right after college, i was fired from Sears. but my boss was cool about it, he said, oh crap you go on vacation in a few days, how about we do this when you get back?

    i was all, fuck that. im your best salesman and you wanna boot me? aloha! and i went to maui with my then-girlfriend.

    as soon as we got there i took off my clothes jumped in bed and laid there.

    she said ok first i was thinking we get some blue hawaiians, then theres a dance contest, then we can snorkel for tropical fish, then

    i said, baby, im gonna lay here and look at that ocean, and look at that tv, and look at that ocean some more and if you walk past im gonna look at your sweet ass.

    she said, and thats it?

    i said, and thats it.

    we had a little fight and before you know it i was ordering blue hawaiians beachside.

    but i would have been just as happy laying in that oceanfront room.

    my mind is racing at crazy speeds most of the time. overclocked. nitroinjected. superpowered.

    when i can really just lay down it totally shuts off. i sleep like a rock. even the northridge quake didnt wake me, only my roommates did.

    so this week my real job gave us the week off. i could have flown somewhere warm(er), i could have gone to europe. i could have ubered every day this week and paid off some bills.

    but i dragged my feet doing one little task after another.

    went to the Benz dealer to get hoodwinked by their annual checkup/shakedown

    cleaned my room

    got the annual inspection so i can drive for Lyft for another year.

    did the dishes.

    today i will drive uber/lyft a little and i will focus on Lyft because i have noticed there that people love to tip me. maybe its because im awesome, maybe its because people are just nice deep down.

    but what id rather be doing is laying down, playing this hockey video game i cant stop playing, and constantly asking myself

    “what day is it, do i have to move my car?”