1. Monday, December 12, 2016

    picked up a ballerina in south central, dont ask 

    i was trying to drive over at USC but i got caught up at this Church’s Chicken drive thru.

    the squawk box was broke so everyone had to wait in line and order at the window – in your car – it was a mess

    and the weird thing about having your Uber Select radar on in the hood is you might be the closest person to a

    smokin hot, super skinny, probably on coke, wild-minded, sex-on-the-brain new yorker

    who is going on a blind date in Beverly Hills.

    David? I asked whe she got in.

    David is the gentleman who did the right thing and ordered this car, I’m Carla.

    within minutes we were talking about sex, models, not eating at fancy restaurants, anorexia, bulimia,

    and threesomes.

    “im the star of the show, honey, it’s all about me.” she laughed.

    and it was.

    some drives i have to lead the conversation. sometimes i have to pry.

    with Carla i found myself going backwards

    now wait, you just said XYZ, lets delve into that more.

    she laughed a lot. so much energy. she asked for a water. people never do that. of course i had it.

    when i dropped her off she walked a few steps in front of my car, incredibly tight jeans.

    turned around and winked.

    and i was all, David, i hope to hell you’re ready.