are the russians hacking the mobile site?


do i care?


why not?

because life is fleeting, our moments are precious.

this is all a dress rehearsal for heaven

this is why you have to learn to breakdance

no other planet in the universe has The Robot or slam dancing or The Moonwalk

how do i know this? BECAUSE I KNOW THINGS!

so when we get to Heaven and we meet some cute girls from Planet Zip

the best ways that we are going to impress them is not by talking

but by doing the Worm.

if you think girls on Earth like a man who can dance, just wait till you start doing your thing in front of a couple of girls from Zip, and then bust into the Robot — look out is all i gotta say.

Look out.

so fuck the Russians. Fuck what they’re doing to the World Famous. fuck what plans theyve got. fuck why theyre doing it.

we are from Earth. unlike some of our leaders, we have thick skin. we can accept the body blow body blow body blow upper cut.

we know how to do the damn thing and we will do the damn thing. thats why people love us. thats why we love us.

thats why God blessed us with the Internet.

because we could handle it and make art with it.

and kiss it right in the mouth.

which is what my advice is to you about your problems: french kiss those fuckers.

and if you want, wipe your hand with your sleeve after.

sometimes i wonder about republicans

yesterday the senate held confirmation hearings with Betsy DeVos who has been nominated to be in charge of Education

she doesnt know anything about Financial Aid, student loans, the ongoing debate about whats the best way to teach kids, her family has donated millions to an organization that electrocutes gay kids in order to try to make them straight.

she thinks guns in schools are ok. she doesnt support the law that would make colleges less rapey – instead she thinks the victims and potential victims should do more themselves not to get raped.

i could go on, but while i watched a lot of this (it’s compelling to watch an extremely rich woman who inherited her fortune and then married a rich man tell Bernie Sanders, who asked her what she thought of his goal to make public colleges tuition free, “nothing in life is free”) i thought about the GOP members who told her and us that she would make a great Secretary of Education.

why? because she gave the GOP $20 million over the years? is that all it takes?

do some people really care about money so much that they are willing to put not just their children’s education at risk, but all the kids in America? ok maybe not all, the rich kids will be fine, but everyone else?

even Senators must realize that if a kid gets a bad education, and say, drops out, they are more likely to turn to crime and victimize others – even the rich. so it’s in everyone’s best interest to have smart kids in every neighborhood. they do realize this right? or are they paranoid that if brown kids get book learnin they’ll start calling bullshit on american bullshit, starting with the ruling class?

these are just some of the things i wonder about when during an oral exam the person is failing and yet half of the bystanders are all good job good job lets give her the power to rule over a trillion dollar loan program. even though she wants to pretend that shes not a VP in her mothers foundation.

the one that gives money to electrocuting gay kids.

and lies in the senate and says “it was a clerical error” that she was listed as a VP, for years

and years

and years.