people say theyve never seen anything like this before

but it’s not new.

when bush cheney was in office they lied just as much.

the difference was they were a little more slick about it.

they still got caught left and right for lying and creating bullshit distractions like the red orange yellow green alerts, which they never allowed turn green.

they still were exposed for having a gay male prostitute toss softball questions to the president.

someone who they gave a day pass to every day for two years.

they lied about 9/11, they lied about going to war with iraq, they lied about torture and haliburton and the saudis

they deleted multitudes more emails than hillary

they sent our economy into a tailspin affecting millions of americans which ended in a recession that was felt around the world.

and when you tried to debate people online back then, some dozen years ago, it was sorta like trying to do it now: they kicked back Rush Limbaugh lines instead of Sean Hannity lines or Breitbart lines but they didn’t know what they were saying.

and everything they echoed had something to do with national security as if this country had a reason to run scared

when all along the phone call was coming from inside the house.

today trumps spokesperson said the muslim ban er travel ban was a huge success despite the fact that it was imposed on people from countries that have not done us any harm.

hey look! this puppy hasn’t mauled me. success!

color me impressed.

RIP boiling the water

i have pretty girls saying they want me. then they cancel on me.

its like, just dont. im just a man.

then on Bumble, you think you have someone who is halfway normal: cool job, some decent chats back and forth

and then the red flags come up.

she says hey im gonna quit this app, heres my number, call or text.

i go, great, heres mine too.

then a few days later she goes hey my text is funky, heres my WhatsApp

and i think to myself, communication in my life is key. KEY.

no matter how smoking hot this girl is, no matter how great her job is, i cant text her to tell her i scored great tickets to somewhere or im running late or hey look at this fur bikini, what size are you again?

instead i either have to WhatsApp her or wait for her text to become unfunky?

i know maybe 2 million people. 3.5 million if i count trump supporters. you know how many of them have problems with their texting capabilities?


so suddenly i have to allow the one with funky texting issues into my squared circle?

forget it.

donald trump wont even let people who have been extreme vetted into the country and ive gotta let some gorgeous long haired asian beauty queen who lives like 15 minutes away into my heart and home

and she can’t even with her phone?

what has happened to this country?

is everything fraud on top of fraud?

what happened to, “yo, lets do this.”

“great, what time.”

“only time is now.”

“you got that right bb”

“be there asap.”

“whens that”

“10 minutes.”

“perfect, i’ll boil the water.”

“say what?”

“oh you’ll see.”

and then you fucking do see.