1. Wednesday, January 18, 2017

    are the russians hacking the mobile site? 

    da!

    do i care?

    na!

    why not?

    because life is fleeting, our moments are precious.

    this is all a dress rehearsal for heaven

    this is why you have to learn to breakdance

    no other planet in the universe has The Robot or slam dancing or The Moonwalk

    how do i know this? BECAUSE I KNOW THINGS!

    so when we get to Heaven and we meet some cute girls from Planet Zip

    the best ways that we are going to impress them is not by talking

    but by doing the Worm.

    if you think girls on Earth like a man who can dance, just wait till you start doing your thing in front of a couple of girls from Zip, and then bust into the Robot — look out is all i gotta say.

    Look out.

    so fuck the Russians. Fuck what they’re doing to the World Famous. fuck what plans theyve got. fuck why theyre doing it.

    we are from Earth. unlike some of our leaders, we have thick skin. we can accept the body blow body blow body blow upper cut.

    we know how to do the damn thing and we will do the damn thing. thats why people love us. thats why we love us.

    thats why God blessed us with the Internet.

    because we could handle it and make art with it.

    and kiss it right in the mouth.

    which is what my advice is to you about your problems: french kiss those fuckers.

    and if you want, wipe your hand with your sleeve after.