picked up a guy at usc who had a complicated knee brace

i was all, snowboarding?

he said, skiing.

i was like, kids still ski?

he goes

but before he could i answered for him, not well.


id been driving for about two hours around SC. today was their first day back from break.

after so many days of getting very few rides i just wanted to do like 15 or 16 in a couple of hours and get the mojo going again.

did 22.

this guy was the last one.

he goes, hold on got my buddy coming.

im all, youre the invalid and you got here first?

his friend arrives with a jovial, hey cripple.

i slide the iphone and start the ride. Arabian Nights? whats that?

he goes, we’re gonna buy a bong!


his buddy is like, all the guys on our floor chipped in and we’ve got $100.

i go, what sort of flooring is happening in this dorm?

he’s like hardwood.

im all well you cant get glass.

he’s like i cant use a plastic bong.

i go dude one bong and an entire floor of freshmen dudes? that things gonna break.

he goes, theres carpet in the rooms.

and im well alright then, but maybe you should rubberize it or something. get creative.

and his buddy murmurs, the old one did break. glass.

i said SEE!