but tony i love you

some people actually do love me and thats sweet.

it’s hard to believe because i dont see the same person that they see

to me im still a teenager with a big floppy afro so massive it’s hard to fit a cubs hat over

im driving around in my grandmas cadillac, windows rolled down, exploring LA for the first time.

wrong about so many things. but trying to learn.

even though im so far removed from that, thats how i feel every day and when i see pictures of myself im like who’s grampa is that?

some things you have control over, some you dont have any.

so when pretty girls, who you tried week after week after week to have come over to your crib, say they love you, you think to yourself, then why did you make me jump through every hoop there was just to see you for an hour? if you loved me why did you make it so hard? if you loved me, why did everyone else in your life have no problem hanging with you, but for me it was pretty close to impossible?

the good thing about being as old as dirt is you have actual, real life experience to tap in to. and the best part about being someone who has never been married, is some of that experience revolves around dating.

and you might know a few things about love.

when i love someone there are no excuses. i will do everything. there are no obstacles. there are only paths. when i love someone there are no questions, instead a million answers. a variety of solutions. money is not an object, nor is time.

but when i want to avoid something, there are excuses on excuses on excuses.

and often there are lies.

these are the things teenage tony had to learn first hand, the hard way, over years.

and what old man busblog can write down in seconds.