1. Tuesday, March 14, 2017

    everything is a dare 

    theres a pound of ham in the fridge.

    not exactly sure when i put it in there.

    it would be a shame for that pig to have died in vain

    however, if i was a pig i would prefer that you did not eat me, thank you.

    went to my actual doctor today.

    like me, former xbi.

    nbd. omg.

    i told him i was down to a half a coke a day.

    still addicted, eh? he scoffed.

    which i took as a dare.

    which i am taking as a dare.

    theres only a few things that will kill me, he said: coke, drunk drivers, boredom.

    why cant you drink tea?

    in heaven im gonna drink coke every day. maybe even non stop.

    fuckit, in heaven i wanna pee coke.

    but most of the time we talked about barry bonds

    and how incredible his last season was.

    he was 42.