some dude tried to diss me because i blog

i wanted to say caucasian, please.

theres something about me that should probably change. i get into internet fights alllll the time.

i cant help it. people say stupid fucking shit and i  am overwhelmed with the desire to let them know that the universe (of which I am a part) heard them and disagree!

but thats when disappointment kicks in. rarely is there an interesting back and forth. it’s always some nonsense that has nothing to do with the original point. it’s always omg youre a liberal or youre living in california or youre

omg a blogger?!?!!

i want to say, no i am the manager of the chicago cubs. i live in a mansion in maui surrounded by orphans and topless hula nurses. im only in california because the cubs have a perfectly good manager. and im trying to find a girl who loves me for me and not my tropical paradise


theres this great story about these kids at a high school who work at at the school newspaper, who got a new principal. so they decided to write a little feature about her, and while they were researching her past they discovered that she had totally lied about her education. one thing led to another and the principal immediately resigned.

how many times have i stressed the importance of teaching kids journalism and how necessary school papers are in college and high school? millions.

not just because the kids will often get to the bottom of things, but because through journalism you learn how to write and argue like an adult.

im not like them, i can’t pretend

do i know whats going on? nope.

drove around USC last night hoping to get 15 rides but my secret is out and the place was flooded with Uber cars and I barely got 8. i’ll have to go back tomorrow.

drove a professor to his apartment downtown. had a ride with three dudes one of em stunk.

but the funniest was these two sorority girls who i picked up at a liquor store and took em to The Row. thats where all the frat and sorority houses are.  Half way there they realized they didnt have a place to store their booze. The original plan was to put it in the trunk of the car of one of their sisters, but they found out that she was caught up and couldn’t make it for a while.

So on the way to the house they brainstormed:

We could hide it in the bushes under the airconditioner behind the house.

We could ask one of the frat dudes to hold it for us.

We could try to sneak it in [the bottles were clanking as they said this]

Finally we got to the sorority house and they got out, bottles still making bottle noises, they got out, super tight shorts, perfume that smelled of vanilla, and they looked around for a friendly face.

And I drove away realizing exactly which women voted for Trump last November.