1. Monday, May 29, 2017

    cut the cord today 

    tried to do it online but they make you call

    so i got on the phone and the lady was nice

    was from the midwest but lives in orange county

    for some reason she tried to make that the reason why i would keep cable and my landline.

    i pay $245 a month for those two plus internet.

    so i called to find out how much just internet is.

    i have very good internet.

    what i was thinking about doing is just going internet and trying out the YouTube or Sling or whatever package that gets you like 40 channels for $35, but you need internet to make it happen.

    the lady asks me all these questions like what do i watch.

    i say i pretty much just watch Rachel, PTI and the most hardcore porn you could imagine.

    she wasn’t paying attention.

    she tried to move me to a smaller assortment of channels that would knock my bill down to $199 a month and i was all, yeah nah.

    and then she said, oh i see something, you have 300 mbs and you say it’s just you in the home?

    i said yep.

    she said, well thats far too much for just one person. ten devices could be sharing that.

    heres a few things no one should ever say to me:

    im cancelling our date

    why do you eat so much fast food

    Cubs? oh did you jump on the bandwagon last year

    i would like to slowly murder you

    these gentlemen are here to slow down your internet speed

    so i told her to transfer me to her boss and we agreed to just basic channels and then leave the internet alone for $120 total.

    now i gotta buy a tivo.