busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, June 30, 2017

    happy canada day, heres a great idea for Uber 

    Passengers should be able to Favorite their favorite drivers. Even in a 10 minute trip a connection can be made and you want to have that driver again. Unfortunately Uber’s algorithm only matches a passenger with the closest driver.

    However, one of your favorite drivers might just be 1 or 2 minutes away from the closest driver so it might not be that inconvenient.

    PLUS, because both Uber and drivers want those dolla dolla bills .. IF the passenger chooses to use their favorite driver, Uber should alert the passenger that the fare is multiplied by 1.5x as a “tip” to the driver.

    Would you pay 25% more to ride with someone who you actually liked enough to Favorite? As opposed to some random person who you might not like? Of course you would.  Drivers are the same way. I would much rather drive someone who I liked who went out of their way to Favorite me, who also is waiting a little longer for me, and is willing to give me a 25% bonus.

    This is one of those rare win-win-win scenarios.

    The kind that never see the light of day because not enough people read the busblawwwwg any mores.

     

  2. Thursday, June 29, 2017

    andy warhol was a leo 

    Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years
    when they could just say, So what.
    That’s one of my favorite things to say.
    So what.

    – Andy Warhol

  3. someone said, we’re getting old T, what about our legacy 

    i said real friends dont call me T

    he was like, yeah but like the Sopranos…

    i said, when you see Tony Soprano be my guest to call him that.

    he continued, ok whatever, but what about our legacy? are you gonna write any more books or do something big so that when you’re gone the people will remember you and will say ‘yeah but tony pierce, he was the shit.”

    i said, no one remembers no one. not for the right reasons at least.

    plus thats the biggest fakeout around.

    consider Buster Keaton. dude was doing stunts that even the cops today wouldnt allow.

    bro said more with his eyes than actors today can say with the best scripts

    but you know how many times i see anyone with a Buster Keaton shirt

    or read about how this guy is the modern day Keaton?

    how about never.

    theres only one person who needs to know our names when we die

    and thats Jesus.

    worrying about whether tom dick or harrys grandkids or great grandkids are gonna read Stiff or How to Blog or The House on the Hill

    or omg Ilka is a giant waste of time

    not only will they not read it, but in the rare chance they stumble across it due to some weird ass SEO or a Throwback Thursday 3000, they wont understand it or relate or they’ll get distracted by the lowercase

    just like these days

    which is why i put up pictures.

    hi future.

    sorry about the air and water.

  4. Wednesday, June 28, 2017

    The 3rd string catcher who hit that Grand Salami in the playoffs is gone 

    Miguel Montero, the cool under pressure, but one who was known to keep it real when a reporter’s mic was in his face, has “cut ties” with the World Champion Chicago Cubs today in the wake of him OMG criticizing struggling pitcher Jake Arrieta after one dude for the Nationals stole 4 bases off the battery yesterday in the Nation’s Capitol.

    “That’s the reason they were running left and right today because they (Arrieta) were slow to the plate. Simple as that,” the 33 year-old backstop told reporters. “It’s a shame it’s my fault because I didn’t throw anyone out.

    “It really sucked because the stolen bases go on me but when you really look at it the pitcher doesn’t give me any time so yeah, ‘Miggy can’t throw anyone out’ but my pitchers don’t hold anyone on.”

    Montero hasn’t thrown out any baserunners in 31 attempts this season. He is owed $14 million for this season, which the Cubs will probably eat as they attempt to move him within 10 days.

    The hero of Game 1 of last year’s NLCS was super classy when he took to Twitter today to say adios to the city, the fans, and the Cubs

  5. Tuesday, June 27, 2017

    super sad dude gets in my uber 

    im all, why the long face

    and he tells me.

    people tell me their problems all the time.

    only a few times do they ask, whats a guy who can afford a benz doing driving for uber?

    but this one dude the other day did.

    and i said,

    we can all afford a benz.

    ours is the Kingdom of Heaven

    but we run around all thinking that ours is the Butthole of Poop.

    ours aint any such thing.

    especially American ours.

    we have clean air clean water habitable conditions and we arent fighting a war at home.

    sure some of us get shot by cops or gangs or the occassional mass muderer but its not like jets are zooming around above us dropping loads on E Street

    we have such a bigger advantage to people in other countries, regardless of who our president is

    what color we are

    or any of our every day minutia that can drive us crazy.

    and i know at times it can feel like a disaster.

    words can be said and they trigger you like theyre the meanest words ever

    politicians can do things or say things or threaten things

    facebook commentors, bad drivers, junk mail from your credit union constantly trying to sell you insurance.

    neighbors, sprawl, the blind as bat umpires in the replay office in new york.

    or churches who turn on their sprinklers at night, every night, ruining your sweet car wash.

    but theres a reason the good book says and i paraphrase fuck the bullshit of this earth

    yours is the kingdom of heaven.

    some can say its a fake out written by the rich so the huddled masses dont rise up and burn it all down

    but thats too easy.

    the poor couldnt even read the bible most of the time, and most of That time it was written in Latin.

    and secondly point me to the politician or king who ever said,

    never mind the here and now

    lets instead focus on Paradise.

    not even one of the phony Christians in congress would

    dare go there.

    dude in my uber says, my girlfriend wants it all the time

    and i just want to sleep when i get home.

    and he starts crying.

    and that is what every problem sounds like, probs

    to the man upstairs

    waiting for you

    above.

  6. Monday, June 26, 2017

    such a full weekend omg 

    ubes had a promotion that i thought i could pull off: 15 rides for $80, so i did 5 on Friday after work, which wasn’t so tough because i was able to start at 1:30pm because they gave us a half day

    which meant i had to do 10 on Saturday, which i figured i could do if i started before noon. but who really starts before noon when theres a long legged blonde walking around your bachelor pad?

    got out at noon. and murphys law every ride was long except one. which i was fine with because the long rides are more money and the name of the game is money so fuckit. after about 6 hours i had my 10 rides

    BUT

    i had not accepted some so i had to get my acceptance rate up by doing MORE rides but luckily those were around Hollywood. and i was home before the sun went down and i had all that money (about $115, plus the $80 bonus), so i would say it was a successful Saturday.

    and i learned a valuable lesson: a day of uber x rides, if you can get the multipliers working for you, are just as profitable as the 3-4 Select rides that rarely turn out to be long hauls. and i am soooo much happier when i am busy. the people are always great. they love me and i love them right back. two people asked for my card because they wanna be friends and i was all ooooooh, im a terrible friend, but whatever.

    last night amber and i saw Baby Driver and it was fantastic. ed wright is a genius. and now hes great at car chases too. who knew.

    tomorrow AJ and i are seeing Roger Waters at Staples and it should be a spectacle.

    today though i am getting reviewed at work.

    i never do well in work reviews.

    people who have to see me every day, i think i wear on them. i think im too much.

    i try so hard though.

    i wish people knew.

    and i was so great oscars night.

    cross your fingers.

  7. Saturday, June 24, 2017

    my cookie has expired 

    sort of a perfect day

    one ride after another, little ones, long ones,

    profitable, not worth it

    a cancel from an elusive good one.

    two teenage you tube stars;

    a vegas cocktail waitress heading home after a mid week soiree with a new love;

    dude picking up his girlfriend for a romantico italiano dinner on their one year anniversary

    another dude who had been hanging at a high price veggie and fruit store

    said he goes there on friday nights and drinks coffee

    because models shop there.

    (which is true)

    then two PR peeps who told me about the last time they were actually star struck.

    one of the youtube stars had just recorded a song i said is it on apple she was all yes

    blushing in the backseat, her bff laughing saying i know all the words

    i held my phone and said PLAY SIERRA JUST THIS MOMENT

    and it found it and

    this girl sang soooo — like she was 30.

    this girl was 17.

    i said quit school.

    she said i wanna learn production.

    i said fall in love, and write a song a day like what andy warhol told lou reed

    and when you break up write three a day.

  8. Thursday, June 22, 2017

    wild mood swings 

    if libras are one thing we are lovers

    if we are two things we are peacemakers and lovers

    if we are three things it’s

    cool

    under

    pressure.

    which is why the xbi is filled with libras.

    maybe something happens at 50 though

    or maybe it’s the fact that the cubs won the world series and life no longer has meaning

    but things have been bothering me recently.

    the dumbest things.

    the dumbest things in the world.

    things that have zero meaning in the universe when it comes right down to it.

    and earth to tony: goal posts do move. people change their minds about things.

    people are not completely predictable reliable narrators.

    and, no, not everyone is transparent.

    so what.

    yours is the kingdom of heaven.

    run away from things of the earth.

    fucking meek are gonna inherit this

    ignore this.

    jesus didnt run around getting pissed off deep down inside about this or that.

    there were a few times, sure, in the money changing temple

    in that super big crowd for some reason

    and right when he was gonna get ratted out.

    im sorry, BETRAYED

    but for the most part he was chilly chill.

    got home today and i wanted to cry.

    even though i had the best uber ride with these two mexican kids on their way to the snoop dogg show

    west LA to staples on 2.5 surge.

    maybe some people cry when theyre happy.

    maybe some people can get happy.

    me, as they trained us way back when,

    i just get hungry.

  9. you know someone respects you 

    and considers you their friend

    if they send you pics of their naked body covered in either

    shingles

    herpes

    stress rash

    sun rash

    BDSM bites

    and/or panic attacks.

    for some reason Mary thinks I’m a doctor.

    far as i know her man is a world renowned surgeon, but me she sends her gross pics to.

    but i’ll take it because i have nothing better to do than sit in bed with a differnt hot blonde doing gross google searches as the tv flickrs and the cats peek under the closed door and the wind

    blows

    and the trucks back up outside

    beep beep beep beep

    called my city representative yesterday.

    got his lackey.

    actually got the lackey’s assistant.

    that dude DID NOT want me to leave a message, but i convinced him to allow it anyways. i left a message.

    dude left ME a message the next day which was full of baloney.

    one thing i like about Mary is she isn’t full of baloney. at least not to me. which is something that i also consider respectful.

    when people feed me bs i consider it this:

    Tony, I know you’re not a dummy but i’m hoping on this one topic you are, so heres a ton of malarkey im gonna toss at you.

    because you probably are a dummy.

    but im not.

    i just dont know what causes rashes.

    and im secretly trying to find something – anything – else to look at in your nudes.