1. Sunday, June 18, 2017

    picked up a beautiful woman in a high cut black dress 

    in a good part of town. i had just washed my car. and i was thinking about putting on jazz.

    as she approached she seemed younger than 30 so i switched over to todays sounds, sung by women, mostly.

    she got in and we hit it off immediately. she was going to a graduation party for some of her fellow med students.

    i had a soon-to-be surgeon in the back seat.

    i asked her how come in movies theyre always cutting off peoples legs.

    she said if you get an infection and it screws with the main blood flow or the big bone, then your leg dies anyways and there you are with a dead leg.

    so you my as well cut the damn thing off.

    the earlier the better.

    she said back in the day, the kings would be fragile from other dumb things that they did in medicine back then and they’d break a leg and it would just die there. but no one had the guts to tell the king, dude, your leg is dead, it smells, and every time your butler pulls out the footstool, IT STINKS UP THE JOINT

    one of the leading causes of old school leg deaths: too much sugar leading to diabetes.

    i was sipping on a super big gulp of Classic Coke at the time.

    rolled down the window and threw it right into the traffic.

    im telling you, i learn something with every trip.