1. Thursday, June 1, 2017

    who amongst us doesnt feel like a total space alien sometimes 

    i was trying to think about when i was 15.

    i was so awkward. weirdest hair in school. shit always got in it.

    as a Cub fan id walk down the hallways and people would say Cubs suck left and right.

    but fuck them.

    in all my classes id get Cs.

    except gym and music

    and art.

    they gave us standardized tests when i was 13 and they said i was gifted

    and put me in some gifted classes instead of homeroom

    but i still got Cs in the classes.

    i knew i was the only black kid in school and i was gonna have problems with girls.

    and i did have problems with girls.

    but i also had a little luck.

    still,

    if i was outside after dark

    laying in the grass on a summers night in illinois

    id look up at the stars and say

    any time you wanna pick up yr boy

    here i am.

    but heres the good news.

    aint nobody picking any one up.

    aint noone going nowhere.

    we are here.

    now.

    working this thing here out

    with one another.

    it’s a puzzle so big that no one can do it alone.

    not even God.

    even He was all, maybe if i made a whole bunch of little scientists

    in my image

    maybe they can all work together

    and do the things and sing the songs and bang the gangs

    and in the end everything will be better.

    better, not because the tall ones or the pretty ones or the rich ones or the ones with perfect hair had the answer

    but because everyone added their weird little perspective

    or weird big secret

    or not weird and not little flavor

    maybe thats why so many of us are here and why so many of us are twisted in unique

    freaky ways

    she said

    and tossed me out of the space ship and into the grass

    then flew away.

    justlikethat.

    which even today

    i call bullshit on.