1. Monday, October 16, 2017

    apparently a walk off home run was hit by the dodgers last night 

    i wouldnt know because the television was turned off seconds before the critical moment.

    a pretty girl in my home was the one who did the honors.

    moments before the moment she asked

    why did the batter, then the pitcher, then the catcher all call time out?

    i said because everyone’s very nervous because a hit ends the game and an out gives the Cubs another chance to take this series to Wrigley tied up.

    she was very hyper for some reason as i stood in my bedroom staring at the tv

    rooting each and every pitch

    as my cats snoozed on the nearby bed.

    then suddenly she lunged towards the electronics and the tv turned off.

    she didn’t hit the power button on the remote

    she literally unplugged the complicated set-up.

    i raced to the living room to fire up the tv there because Lord knows how long it would take me to resuscitate the bedroom situation

    but the living room tv betrayed me as it needed to warm up and and and ahhhhhhh so i ran back to the bedroom and began the arduous task of rewiring the setup

    and as i did i heard the familiar strains of Randy Newman’s “I Love LA”

    the 30+ year old song that the Dodgers play at the end of a victory.

    the television did not show me anything but a sickening blue screen of death

    but it did let me know everything i needed to know

    because of that music.

    i knew the Cubs had lost.

    they would not be playing that delightful tune if mighty Casey had struck out.

    i stopped what i was doing.

    i put on my pants and a shirt.

    i found my phone.

    i kissed the girl on the cheek, and said, i need to take a walk.

    she said, i didnt mean to–  i said, i know you didn’t.

    i know.

    and i drove.

    and i drove.

    to the 99 cent store

    and bought $27 worth of fuck if i know what.