dear tony, what can i do if i can’t change her?

dear jean,

you can’t.

there’s not even a lot we can do.

all we can do is our own thing and live as pure as we can.

keeping in mind others are trying to make it happen too.

and everyone has a different goal.

hidden goals.

my goal right now is to make a spiritual miracle from these words.

my goal is for the Good Lord to hear my 1, 2, 3 and say

fine, tony, fine.

my goal is for my 1, 2, 3 to be real and good and as selfless as can be

my goal is for peace.

the right kind of la la la. the good kind. you know it when you see it.

sometimes i will see it and i will say

oh, right. yes! YES!

because i had given up on it.

because i thought it had fluttered away to either nowhere, or into the hands of darkness.

but there it is sometimes

right on the tip of yr tongue.

so here it is for you.