1. Thursday, July 5, 2018

    deep down im a basic bitch 

    i eat mcdonalds, i drink cokes, i still pay for cable.

    so naturally i ran outside to see the fireworks last night.

    the pretty girl had been napping because she had woken up at 4:20am to get to work.

    around 8pm she was all, “10 more minutes” and smiled.

    so i took a shower. when i returned she said

    “i sleep now.”

    when amber’s tired she has trouble conjugating.

    but i bombarded her with kisses and due to the fact i have very stinky breath and spikey stubble she miraculously arose.

    she said, “take me to Dodger Stadium” but unfortunately the game had ended by the time we arrived and the fireworks, for what i could tell were over.

    but alas the rest of the city was just warming up. so i remembered a party i went to once on the most east end of Echo Park. our friend Michelle L. used to live there. it was on an incline and there was a park at the top of it.

    when i approached it we could see 2-3 pretty well curated street firework situations happening so we parked on Sunset and walked up.

    Mexican families, then black families, then white hipsters as we walked up the hill. everyone letting kids play with sticks of dynamite.

    one lady kept holding her bottle rockets dangerously close to the giant pine tree and we decided to Kate Bush it and ran up the hill.

    there we saw an abandoned lot with a poorly constructed fence. we slid through it and there, alas, all of LA opened up to us and from Downtown to the Hollywood Bowl fireworks bloomed from the horizon.

    i tried to take pics but it was like trying to draw Mohammad: a dangerous waste of time.

    we drove home with rockets still exploding all around us.

    i decided not to make a quick buck Ubering because blasts + drunk drivers + drunk passengers does not equal a good time. instead we turned on the Sopranos and slowly feel asleep to the sounds of what the cats probably thought was the end of humanity.