why i love people

i have had a good life. i blame my mom.

she taught me early on not to be afraid of strangers.

when i was little she used to say, “say thank you to that man.” or “i better hear you say ‘Excuse me’ to that lady you just bumped in to.”

these last few weeks i have been talking to strangers which might be my favorite thing of all. i am completely fascinated with people’s stories, how they became who they are.

but i also love to hear them talk. like what words they use. what details they find interesting in a story. and best of all, what they try to hide from me.

i am always surprised. i try to be honest with them. my car license plate says XBI, which most people know means that we can read your mind or know when you’re lying. even if youre wearing sunglasses. even if youre french. naturally everyone lies, but sometimes you’re sitting there and you wonder, why are they bullshitting me on this? no one cares about this. why this?

i once had a supervisor, when i was young and asked this. he said the best thing. “when you listen to hard rock, particularily a guitar solo, theres all this distortion all around the notes. thats what these little lies are. atmosphere. flourish. a frame. don’t let it throw you.”

i know people are scared. i know trust is a bitch for a lot of people. im sure i would be freaked out by the world a lot more if i didnt have super powers. but isnt that what religion is supposed to do for people? isn’t that what experience is supposed to bring you: trust that a + b = c?

and yet the people who exhibit trust the most when i talk to them are kids. the ones who have zero experience, zero power, zero reason to believe. yet they do. with me at least.

this week i have talked with a lot of interesting people. yesterday for four hours on venice beach as pretty girls and freaks paraded past us. i will be forever grateful of the experiences that i have had and i will continue to use that to fight evil and reflect goodness.

and the best way i can do that is to never bullshit you. ever. even when the going gets tough.

when will it get better

when will we get there

when will they trust us

when will they talk to us

when will it get better

what did i do wrong

who did i diss

every kid is told ‘be yourself’

so when i am myself the world implodes

maybe it needs an implosion

maybe it was gonna implode anyways

maybe none of this has to do with me

maybe nothing has to do with us

the good book does not promise that it will get better

ive been reading Job, who was truly blameless and still he got warts all over his body and face, his family died, his crops withered and his animals were stolen and when he asked his friends wtf is happening why does God hate me

what have i done?

his friends answered with maybe you fucked up, maybe you are whining too much right now, maybe you shouldnt question things

when all along Job had every right to question and fret and be sad with his boils on his face and back and nose and balls and trust me, everywhere

maybe in the whole wide world Job was the one person who had the right to say, i used to be God’s favorite and now im enemy number one, yet i was exactly the same Job as before.

i love the bible because it confirms that life is the craziest bowl of WTF of all.

and doesnt make sense

and probably has nothing to do with you.

or me

and God doesnt hate any of us.