this food bank keeps texting me

if you pay $40 they give you two huge shopping cart of food and drink and vegetables and 7 loaves of bread and rice and frozen things like a case of burritos

and everything is about to expire and if you dont buy it they give it to zoo animals who are gonna be fine

aint no one ever heard of a zoo animal dying of starvation.

but still its hard to roll up in there with a benz and fill up the trunk and back seat with food earmarked for the poor but the poor are too poor to drive down there and volunteer for 4 hours or hand over $40

plus amber gets stressed out trying to

  • find room in our fridge for all of it
  • eat it
  • watch it stare at us and slowly age as we try to eat it all

so i was like, it’s just $40, why dont we give away as much as we can on the way home

keeping the stuff we really like

and anything thats left over will probably fit in the fridge.

seriously who needs 200 tortillas and 5 lbs of frozen lox?

lets give it away and we will feel stoked and they will feel stoked and we end up with 6 heads of lettuce

and 22 apples.

she goes, its my day off, please dont stress me out.

i hug her and apologize and then flash my man boobs.

and then the food bank texts me again

this time in spanish

palm reader said listen to me listen

i was all, im all ears

she said dont hear, listen

i was like

finally she said stop doing all the things of the past

this is the second half

do second half things

i said like cutting sugar out of my diet

she went, yep

and then disappeared

i woke up and this pretty girl was napping beside me

shes seen it all

and yet is so impressed by the simplest things

which is where i come in.

im way into simple.

weed is legal now in the republic of california

if you havent heard the news

so theres this app that tells you thing

and i like to know the things

so i go beep bop boop and it goes, .9 miles from your house

we park by a used dishwasher store, i show the lady my broken washer machine knob

she goes into a file cabinet and plastic knobs are spilling over in there

quickly she says we dont have

we walk out and down the street.

cant find it.

i look at the app for the address

pretty girl says there it is, across the street.

i say no dear the boop boop bop machine says its here and i point at the numbers on a store

and just to the right of it is a storefront with no sign

no words no numbers and the glass doors are closed

although the right door seems to be slightly ajar

so we waked in, and i told the gentleman checking IDs

of course.

turns out they have yoga in there too once a day.