1. Sunday, November 11, 2018

    sharif don’t like it 

    shes a nice girl. she doesnt wanna hurt no one.

    sometimes we’ll be driving and

    like today, today we were driving and she got real quiet so i put on the beastie boys book on tape

    im a book on tape fiend right now

    whats great about theirs is they have different people reading different chapters because theres close to 100 chapters and they are correct in assuming we dont wanna hear just two guys reading that big ass book

    we would much rather hear them along with the likes of ben stiller, wanda sykes, ll cool j, amy poehler, spike jonze, and wes anderson — among many others.

    so we were listening to this story about them going to england for the first time and they mention the fact that they were at mick jones’ house and right before joe strummer popped in adam yauch asked mick to play clash city rockers.

    because im a million years old and amber is innocence and youth personified i asked her if she knew that tune. she said nope. i go siri play clash city rockers by the clash. and we listened and

    i thought to myself

    this poor girl. bad enough shes gotta listen to the beasties book on tape but worse,

    jarvis cocker reading from the book

    and just when shes settled in listening to the story i go siri play this song shes never heard

    i wouldnt be able to stand it if the roles were reversed.

    all she wanted was a salad.