1. Tuesday, November 20, 2018

    this food bank keeps texting me 

    if you pay $40 they give you two huge shopping cart of food and drink and vegetables and 7 loaves of bread and rice and frozen things like a case of burritos

    and everything is about to expire and if you dont buy it they give it to zoo animals who are gonna be fine

    aint no one ever heard of a zoo animal dying of starvation.

    but still its hard to roll up in there with a benz and fill up the trunk and back seat with food earmarked for the poor but the poor are too poor to drive down there and volunteer for 4 hours or hand over $40

    plus amber gets stressed out trying to

    • find room in our fridge for all of it
    • eat it
    • watch it stare at us and slowly age as we try to eat it all

    so i was like, it’s just $40, why dont we give away as much as we can on the way home

    keeping the stuff we really like

    and anything thats left over will probably fit in the fridge.

    seriously who needs 200 tortillas and 5 lbs of frozen lox?

    lets give it away and we will feel stoked and they will feel stoked and we end up with 6 heads of lettuce

    and 22 apples.

    she goes, its my day off, please dont stress me out.

    i hug her and apologize and then flash my man boobs.

    and then the food bank texts me again

    this time in spanish