am i a terrible boyfriend? yes.

and here’s how i know. she keeps telling me, “don’t change a thing. i love you exactly how you are.”

she doesn’t complain about the laundry that is in baskets for weeks, she doesn’t say a word about the endless newspapers that litter the bathroom floor. she never says a word about my taste in clothing or anything.

she says stay gold ponyboy and i know what thats code for

clearly i must rethink everything as the axe is about to fall. 

what person in Trump’s staff has survived once sarah huckabee sanders has said “the president has full confidence in…”

i dont even have full confidence in me.

is this because i have been away from the office environment for so long now and i need Others around me to be happy?

is it because my monthly stipend still hasn’t arrived and i need money to feel secure?

is it because i have never met a woman who looked me in the eyes and said, change nothing while i was breathing garlic and morning breath on her? 

i have never met a person who has not wanted more and/or better in their relationship, and for sure not someone in a ship with me, which is why i have such a long list of experiences.

first order of business for Monday: toupee.