1. Friday, January 18, 2019

    farewell sweet swanny 

    When I was a lad, I wasn’t a Steelers fan, despite my aunt and uncle flooding me with Mean Joe this and Franco Harris that (they lived in Pittsburgh, and were very proud of those teams in the 70s).

    But I was amazed at the beauty and grace Lynn Swann exhibited out on the football field. When he was near the ball there was no violence, no mayhem. It was peaceful and slow as he leapt in the air and suddenly very fast and overbeforeyouknew it.

    For some reason he has dismissed the legendary USC Song Girls from performing at the school’s basketball games and he won’t say why. 

    The only theory that makes some sense, though not much at all, is he was perturbed that during the end of the football season, when 100k fans were chanting to fire the football coach, word got to him that some of the Girls were caught joining in on the fun.

    So instead of firing the coach, he’s firing the young women

    And if you ask me, it’s suicide by cheerleader.

    My guess is Lynn Swann realizes that being in charge of USC, right now, in the midst of so much turmoil, hither and non, is far more insane than Dallas’s Doomsday Defense or the Monsters of the Midway. 

    That shit was nothing compared to whatever this is now. 

    Swann was part of 4 Super Bowl Champions (he never got that one for the thumb). He’s an NFL Hall of Famer. But as Athletic Director in the 21st century, where your best players leave far too soon and the pressure allows you every little time to turn things around, it takes a very different skill set to be great. 

    Which is why no matter what the cheerleaders do, you don’t fire them unless you are the one wanting to go gently into that good night.

    Lynn Swann is 66 years old, wealthy, respected and knowledgable. He’s also a black Republican. There are many paths he can take once he resigns, which I presume will happen soon. 

    If I were him I would volunteer my services with Betsey DeVoss to bring Physical Education back to public schools the way it was when the Steel Curtain was doing damage on frozen tundras. 

    That is the legacy he deserves. Not that of cheerleader killer.