im not gonna release it until i have 25 episodes in the can
it’s gonna be good.
for a long time i avoided podcasts because everyone has one and who needs another one
and who wants to rush into an oversaturated situation
but thats a silly way to look at anything.
i wouldnt tell people not to get a twitter account or a facebook, merely because everyones on it.
and when it came to blogs, i have always encouraged people to have multiple blogs – even during the blogosphere era when literally everyone *did* have blogs.
i also wanna do this podcast because i am competitive and it would be interesting to see if i could make something that adds to whatever is out there.
one of the voices that goes through your head when youre getting rejected by places you would love to work at is, “you are no longer of value. find a hole to crawl into. despite the economy booming and unemployment at its lowest in years, you should sell oranges in a parking lot out of a baby carriage. go sleep in your fancy car!”
so it would be nice to see if i could do something most bloggers haven’t done all that successfully en mass.
except my friends of course.
i was thinking about calling the podcast All My Friends, Ranked
but i love them, and ranking is passe
then i was thinking about calling it 25 lies and a Truth
but dont we have enough bullshit right now
i know what i want but its twitter handle is taken
his name is Clint Miller, an Army veteran who appears to make a pretty good living buying palettes of returned Amazon products and selling them on eBay
what’s different about Clint is he enjoys teaching others how to do it too via his popular YouTube channel, Franchise Kicks
nearly every day Clint makes a video of how many boxes of random stuff he bought from Amazon, what he thinks he will make from it, and what he’ll throw away or keep.
sometimes he’ll get lucky and it’s a smart watch in a shabby box
sometimes he’ll get unlucky and it’s an article of clothing coated with a healthy layer of pet hair
so part of the joy of watching him dig through his daily haul is living vicariously through him, true
but the other part is getting to know this gregarious, seemingly happy, generous man
who has figured out how to flip the richest man in the world’s trash
and turn it into his treasure.
and it’s simple, according to Clint: just do it.
just buy a small box, he advises, something for, say $58. and then list them on ebay.
“the best thing about this is literally anyone can do it,” he said in a recent video to his viewers.
despite having 164,000 subscribers, his videos only average about 25k views,
but one last week, “I bought TWO 450 Pound Amazon Customer Return Pallets Valued at OVER $2,500” was seen over 200,000 times.
why? who knows. it’s a big bald guy taking things off the back of his pickup truck for a half hour in sweltering heat,
while showing a single camera if any of it was good.
we’re rooting for him, because we are rooting for our future selves. we want to believe that there is money in rolling the dice on gently used – and sometimes new – stuff that all we have to do is list, ship, and profit from.
while keeping some good stuff for ourselves.
we are rooting for us.
we see ourselves in him. our best selves.
once a week he has been doing videos of boxes of gifts his fans send him
he does it in front of his enormous shoe collection.
not only is the internet wild, and bizarre
but it is filled with love.
someone noticed he got ripped off of something, so they sent them theirs.
someone else drew a beautiful picture of him
someone else bought him a new knife for opening his boxes with.
who doesn’t love Clint?
well, it is YouTube, probably the most rude social media channel when it comes to comments
so there are some in there who make jabs at him.
can’t win them all.
Clint took to Twitter to admit that it does bum him out a bit.
we’re all human. even an Army man has feelings.
so i think im gonna send him a mystery box of my own. some fan mail from one cub fan to another.
His UPS box is: 484 E. Carmel Dr. #127 Carmel, IN 46032
Rock on Clint, YouTube star and dream maker, who, when he has earned some spending money,
pays what it takes to get some of the Avengers to autograph toys for him
it was all about a job posting for a gig i am definitely qualified for but it might involve a bit of drama and im totally no drama o’busblog.
but what do i do, keep living off my good looks? i would like to get back to work.
because nothing in here is true i can tell you that amber and i have been bickering a bit since i hit the dole. which is also unusual. but then the other day, the day that i remembered that the cubs had won the world series and i should be happy with that for the rest of my life and everything is gravy and relax dude, we suddenly clicked back into gear again and everything was rainbows and butterflies.
you think thats fake but i no lie.
we can turn on anger and madness and bitterness and hate, just as quickly as we can shut it down. we think we cant but we wrong. we are powerful creatures capable of what the children call “magic”, and thus we should use it for good things.
so i just told her baby i dont care about anything other than your happiness and our joy and if you wanna do x y and z and not a b and c, no probs. lincoln freed the slaves. im not going to stand in your way of absolute freedom. you do you and if you wanna include me then great. i have a library of books to read and miles to go before i sleep. and then this weekend happened (even though it fell on a wednesday and thursday) and it was beautiful although i may have broken my foot.
but i have obamacare so i may hobble up the hill and have it removed. i think i need new sneakers. i think i wore out the spring. theres spring in my step, dont get me wrong, but i think it’s gone outta the shoe. maybe i should buy the shoe first then see the doc.
anyways i dont think imma apply for that job because im not here to make anyone uncomfortable. thats not the super power i wanna have. i wanna have the one where i help inspire people to be their best selves. cheesy as that may sound. but it’s true and those were the best jobs ive had.
even though shes the one working, and working hard, there she was on her weekend trying to cook me a late lunch
fourth of july
rarely does she get holidays off but the veterans wanted the double time so there we were sleeping in
she tried to turn on the stove but it wouldnt. she asked me to light the pilot. we have an old stove so who knows whats going on.
then she went to doing the dishes. but no hot water. i couldnt get anything going so i called the gas company. their number asked me if it was an emergency?
its not like its a gas leak, but i cant shower, do dishes or cook. yes i guess thats an emergency. amber said she was gonna take a nap. her work wears her out. i said, fine i will order some thai food cuz postmates gave me a $10 coupon.
before i knew it there was the gas man, followed quickly by palms thai. no traffic on the 4th i guess. the other day me and this uber drive were talking about how small the city is when theres no traffic. like late at night and on holidays where you can get from DTLA to the beach in minutes. or long beach to hollywood in no time.
gas guy fixed my problem in record time and as he did we talked and his stories just came out of him. am i a great interviewer? no. but people sure as hell like telling me things. he wouldnt stop. told me he had been a gas man for nearly 20 years. we talked about hollywood, beverly hills, bel air, little roads, weird houses, crazy details that youd really have to know to notice. we bonded so quickly and he just leaned against the fridge and told me everything.
“you should write a book,” i told him.
“i can’t write for shit,” he said.
“ever read Post Office,” i asked and told him about Bukowski and asked him if he ever did anything on Delongpre near Normandie. i told him thats where he lived when he wrote a bunch of his best stuff. but it all started with writing about how hard it was delivering mail in East LA when so many names were Gonzales or Hernandez.
“you should try finding the right Kim in Koreatown,” gas man laughed.
“i’m telling you you have a book.”
the more i talked about bukowski the more realized he was inches away from 20 of his books. so i gave him “Women” so he could read his style.
“i dont have Post Office. ive given mine away,” i said, “but i have two Women,” i said and we laughed at how that came out.
it had just gone through a meaningless strike that turned off its fans to the sport
basketball had arrived in full force and football filled in the blanks
if anything the baseball strike reminded some how little they cared about the so called national past time.
but then mark macgwire and sammy sosa started hitting massive dongs nearly every day which reminded some how much they love the long ball.
not just that, but in chicago, sammys prowess at the plate helped catapult a not-too-shabby cubs team into the post season, something they hadn’t done in years.
in the north side sammy was king. every time he stepped to the plate it was appointment television. in total good ole #21 slammed 541 home runs as a Cub, breaking none other than Mr. Cub’s team record of 512 set way back in 1971.
near the end of sammy’s career with the cubs, two things happened: he got caught with a corked bat (which he claimed was his “practice bat” and never meant for a game), and he didn’t show up for his last day at work.
and also he has been accused by many that he used performance enhancing drugs – although that has never been proved, and he has denied it. he never once failed a test nor was ever suspended for it despite having a long career.
some say, well what about the leaked drug report of 2013 where sammy’s name was alongside other greats as having failed a secret drug test?
which brings us to the weird state of sammy sosa in the hearts of chicago cub fans.
many don’t like him.
some have turned their back on him.
the man who saved baseball from the greatest park in sport is not welcome in the friendly confines because, in part, he just didn’t want to spend an awkward day saying goodbye to the cubs on his last day of the season before he was due to get traded.
and for some reason some cub fans, typically the most forgiving and lovable souls in the world, were so offended that they have not made him feel welcome enough for a return.
and on top of that, the new owners of the team refuse to welcome him back until he apologizes for that last day.
it is the strangest thing ive ever seen, and i specialize in strange fucking shit.
former cub slugger Dave Kingman went to the Lake instead of Wrigley on Dave Kingman tshirt day, in part because he was one the injured list and didn’t want to deal.
but nobody called Kingman an asswipe when he moved on with his life.
perhaps it was because Cub fans were amazed with Kingman’s ability to hit monster homers, but he usually struck out 8-9 times for every blast. Sammy was a real player. And he was quick on the basepaths, and deft in the outfield. we had fallen in love with him and so it hurt when he didn’t say bye.
well, i still love him.
i am still grateful.
i am glad he saved baseball and i dont care what he didnt do that one time, and what he may have done those other times. im just happy that he brought a light to my favorite place in the world.