nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, September 21, 2019

    what have i been doing? 

    gurrrrl ive been working working working.

    thats the thing, give a man a fish he will eat for a day, let a man run his own fishing boat he will fish all day and night

    and think of ideas and talk to people and write and talk and write and scheme and plot and plan and not sleep and not eat and talk and figure out

    and parts of his brain that havent been loved in sooo sooo long will emit clouds of smoke and gears will turn and things will go slowly at first but damnit if this machine wasnt ready for this, if i wasnt built for this

    if i wasnt born this way.

    and baby im telling you right here right now, i was meant to do the job that i am doing right now and the only thing slowing me down is some outside forces which will be cleared up super soon

    and then the rock will begin.

    because it’s about writing though there needs to be a bit of structure and thats coming too. in part is the lesson i learned at UCSB which was “when it’s light out, study, when it’s dark out party.”

    i need to write in the daytime now and study at night because my body has changed. my magic is in the AM and i get so distracted at night. maybe this is because i was sitting on the bench for half of this year turning into mush?

    maybe it’s because i havent written news and features in far too long. FIVE YEARS david bowie i was doing basically PR, trying to do news but being nudged into a different place.

    remember in Moneyball when Brad Pitt wanted Scott Hattenberg to play first base and they asked the dude, hey its easy to play first and the dude said, it’s actually incredibly difficult. writing news is not as easy as it seems. but i can do it. and i have the freedom to do it the way i want. which is priceless. a dream come true. and i thank the Lord above for this blessing. and just wait what i do with it.

    speaking of the pretty boy. i fell asleep in an afternoon matinee of the new Brad Pitt movie because i was so tired. i see why people do cocaine now. but id never do that for a few reasons. death. expense. and the last thing i wanna hear from St. Peter is come on dude.


  2. Tuesday, September 17, 2019

    today i got a job 

    if you’ve noticed, i havent had a job for going on six months.

    that all ended the other day when one thing led to another which led to another which led to an email which led to some paperwork and before you can say


    i had a job.

    with cool people. who are just as idealistic as i am. and creative. and fun.

    and most importantly, ready to rock.

    i dont wanna jinx it – if that’s even possible – but this might just be the perfect fit.

    i told them some of the ridiculous things that i aspire to accomplish in the next few years

    and whereas others said, yeah no

    these people said, yes yes.

    i posted it on facebook and all my friends said yes yes too

    it was very sweet.

    then like a dozen new people followed me on twitter

    to be honest, today was a daze just like how you feel when you lose a job

    all day i was thinking, is this real? am i getting emotional?

    must. keep. it. together.

    i had a boss a while back, a genius, she said there are two type of people

    builders and maintainers.

    builders like to be places where there’s a thing, and it’s sorta new and they like to see if they can help it grow to be something spectacular.

    then theres people who like to enter when it’s fully grown and do it’s best to keep it strong and vital.

    she said, tony you’re a builder. build your crazy dr seuss kingdoms and get out when it feels like maintaining.

    and looking back, all the times when i wasn’t part of giant growth i was trying to find new ways to grow stuff, to make things, to put cool things on the map.

    amber has had to ask me twice now to say the website

    los angeleno, i said, like you. you are a native los angeleno

    and she was all, yes yes

    yes yes

  3. Sunday, September 15, 2019

    someone asked me to write about the first date i ever had with amber 

    and heres the crazy thing, i have a terrible memory, which is a main reason why i blog so much

    and should probably blog more.

    but heres what i remember… through Instagram of all places she noticed that i was taking pics of places near where she lived. this was back when the Academy was where the Academy Museum is now being built. well, she lived a few blocks away.

    and either i said or she said, we should hang out after work one day.

    i remember we went to Doomies because i had recently eaten a fantastic vegan Big Mac from them at a street fair and i wanted to try it again to see if i was hallucinating.

    so i picked Amber up and she had these crazy shorts that rode up high on her hips but were chopped super short.

    i was driving a Prius looking car back then, def not the chick magnet muscle car she was accustomed to.

    she said she didn’t drink, so i didnt drink either. and i noticed that i hadn’t made a move during a date without liquid courage since… maybe high school?

    amber looked so beautiful and knew everything about LA (she’s a native), i hugged her goodnight and putt-putted away in my slowass hybrid.

    miracles of miracles she texted me back the next day saying she had a great time.

    she may have even included a risqué photograph saying she was impressed that i was a gentleman the whole evening.

    after some questioning, she told me she would be interested in seeing Aerosmith play at the Forum with me, Slash was opening. she wore a slinky sparkly dress and i noticed this was the first concert i had gone to without buying a beer since… high school. it was fun, she was cute. i put my hand around her hip for one song and was too scared to kiss her when i dropped her off.

    a few days later she texted me, said how much she loved the show and wanted to see another concert with me, did i have anything on the calendar? i said oui, KISS is playing with Def Leppard opening in about two weeks. we went, i was nervous, i was still not drinking, but then the lights spelling K I S S blinked i knew i should and i did

    and i must be an incredible kisser because fireworks started exploding

    all over the stage, in the audience, pretty much everywhere.

    i hear Kiss was so moved by my moves that they now incorporate those pyrotechnics in all of their shows.

    you’re welcome.

  4. Friday, September 13, 2019

    i broke bread with good people today 

    they were honest and i was honest and we got it all out there

    and they asked good, hard questions

    and i had answers and examples and a few things they probably didn’t see coming

    and i smiled and they smiled

    and the food was super good

    and we were just three people not fucking around, just getting it done with a shared goal

    a pure goal

    goodness all around.

    fucking a. this city is so big but it’s rare when this happens. why is it rare? is everyone that scarred and worn down? does this happen only once every full moon friday the 13th?

    or is this what ive been writing all along: that the man upstairs, you know that he cares, was just letting the ingredients meld together naturally, which is the best way

    and then when it was time… ta da.

    we talked about so much in such a short period of time.

    even in hushed tones

    (the best tones)

    i ate rare beef.

    im alive eating left over rare beef.

    if i die i love you and that smile on my face is bittersweet

  5. Wednesday, September 11, 2019

    true love will find you in the end 

    today is 9/11 and i had a terrible day

    maybe the worst thing about having a bad day on 9/11 is you look like a jerk if you whine about it

    bc anyone can rightfully quote the original Hangover movie and ask, but did you die?

    weirdly if you asked Daniel Johnston that tonight at the reception party beyond the Pearly Gates he would smile and say yep.

    i don’t know if this is how it is with everyone, but the basis of most of my bad days revolves around Communication

    did that person say to me what i think they did? why isn’t this other person understanding what i want and my expectations and how small they are and yet they are still not being met?

    i admit that sometimes, especially when it comes to jobs, i feel that at my age and station i have done the things necessary to be Qualified

    and when a gig appears that suits me perfectly, the hiring manager would either piss his pants and say THE tony pierce wants some of this so shout heck yeah!

    but youd be shocked how few times thats happened lately.

    what good is experience if you’re gonna overlook it?

    and i keep saying, God has something better. be patient, grasshopper. this endless chorus of nos is going to end in a bukakke of Meg Ryan when harry met sally yes yes


    but you still arent allowed to have a bad day on 9/11 so suck it up macho man and get it tomorrow

  6. Monday, September 9, 2019

    the first rule of blogging is to blog 

    but its been hot girls summer and i just needed to live a little before the rocket launches

    but now murphys law now ambers sick.

    i was gonna take her to san dieger because the cubs are down there

    but now those plans are canceled

    the curse of the 619

    tomorrow im being interviewed for a documentary.

    these sorts of things happen all the time.

    heres the catch about journalists bloggers, people who like to talk to other people

    often theyre the worst interviewees

    as in most thing, i’ll try not to suck.


  7. Monday, September 2, 2019

    today in cub twitter 

    Anthony Rizzo has played over 1,200 innings in the majors.

    A giant majority of that time was as a first baseman.

    Over the course of the last few years he has spent a total of 5 innings as a second baseman… on a technicality.

    occasionally Joe Maddon positions players very aggressively on bunts. Rizzo is positioned ridiculously close to home and the true second baseman covers first.

    Because he is basically to the side of the pitcher’s mound during the pitch,

    MLB rules say Rizzo can’t use a first baseman’s glove because those are only used for the player closest to first.

    He exchanges his huge glove with the second baseman for a normal sized one.

    During those outs, he’s being recorded as a second baseman.

    They are rare.

    Extremely rare.

    The Cubs have done that zero times this season so far.

    But Rizzo, always the jokester, identifies himself as a first AND second baseman on his Twitter bio.