nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, January 13, 2020

    what if I change everything 

    what if there wasn’t a picture. What if no spaces

    No periods

    No future

    yesterday there was a shooting over by ambers work. either of us coulda been there.

    Beverly Hills.

    imagine that’s where you die.

    get to the pearly gates and they says can’t you read? And they point at a sign that says The Meek FTW

    and you have to explain no no I was just traveling through there. I live in a hovel.

    I like pictures tho. Took a few today.

    Took one of the camera store.

  2. Sunday, January 12, 2020

    the most important class I took in college 

    was not journalism- because it wasn’t offered

    it wasn’t creative writing – even though I loved those classes

    It was Bible as Literature

    in part because the Bible is quoted and misquoted constantly, and only the oddest IG the oddballs really know it.

    So it’s good to know too.

  3. Wednesday, January 8, 2020

    Let’s dance 

    I wrote a piece that got published yesterday but then Trump decided to play war games

    and i didn’t want twitter to be all

    omg WAR
    hey is the Eastside DTLA or Los Feliz?
    shit WAR

    I spent much of today looking for ways to charge my good camera

    I cant find the charger. I know i have it. I may even have two.

    And this is the perfect time to look because the house is clean

    But i dont wanna mess up the house digging through closets and under the bed

    But i think i may have to


    I actually have far more serious ones but nothing in here is true so let’s just believe that alls good in the hood.

    Speaking of, let me also play the Powerball before it’s too late.

    I wanna buy my momma a Malibu beach house.

  4. Monday, January 6, 2020

    do you know when it gets hardest 

    it gets hardest right before you break through

    if it was easier at this part, there would have already been a path

    some other chump would have kicked down the door.

    but it’s there and it’s heavy and it’s solid

    and it’s up to you to figure out how to get through it

    or around it

    or under it

    or over it.

    and in learning that trick, you can make it in the next levels and the next ones.

    right now it’s hard. no doubt. maybe super hard.

    but theres nothing that we cannot get through.

    video games teach us that. every one of them do.

    people say dont let kids play so many video games.

    i say let them play them all.

    but then quiz them about what they learnt.

    and i dont mean “i learned you gotta go left right left up up down.”

    i mean “i learned never give up. watch youtube, watch my friends, keep experimenting, dont be discouraged, take a deep breath. back up and Then run.”

    all of these games are here for our use.

    trust in the force.

  5. if you ask me imma tell you 

    which is interesting bc I once worked for a person who said they appreciated that I wasn’t a billshitter and asked me how something they said went over

    I said it didn’t go over perfectly but it wasn’t bad.

    I realize bullshitting is one of the things that separates us from apes but I don’t consider it noble.

    For example I’m glad my fuel gage doesn’t try to prevent my Feelings from being hurt. It just delivers the news and occasionally makes the news urgent.

    I try to do the same.

  6. Sunday, January 5, 2020
  7. Thursday, January 2, 2020

    hi 2020 

    Gonna do some things different this year.

    gonna use my iPad more. Gonna use my good camera more. Gonna learn how to edit audio for podcasts better. Gonna learn about the Valley. Gonna talk to the people. Gonna talk to them in a way that isn’t stupid…

    Gonna blog every day now that I’ve got this iPad going.

    Gonna get closer to Amber. Gonna go to church more. Gonna do things faster.

    Today I goofed off and didn’t work like I wanted to for a number of reasons. I was tired I was mad and believe it or not I was a little hungover and just wanted to be lazy.

    I know I’m not the only one on 1/1 who didn’t feel 100 percent this morning, but I hardly ever drink, so the shot and a beer i had yesterday, as nice as they were because they were with cool people, fucked up my day.

    Gonna keep not drinking.

    When i first met Amber and she told me she was sober I didn’t drink on our first dates which was a bit weird for me because i had not made a move on a girl without the benefit of the liquid courage, and so when i did finally kiss her for the first time sober it was a tiny boost to my confidence like, hey, you don’t need that shit.

    Now that i hardly drink at all… when i do it fucks me up.

    Dont get me wrong i still love a good margarita, or a sip of some good rum, or a glass or two of wine,

    And this might sound cheesy, but I’d much rather have a real conversation with someone, where we are both just looking each other in the eyes and keeping it real.

    So today i learned how to input my recordings into Garage Band. I learned how to do blog posts on my iPad. I got real with Amber and said we are gonna learn how to really talk to each other on a higher plane, an XBI level, almost. So tomorrow i want to learn how to cut seconds out of a part of an audio bit. And i need to go to East LA to ask some strangers some controversial things.

    I am stoked to have made it to 2020. I enjoyed talking with my niece on the phone today.

    And i especially liked telling her, now that Illinois has legalized weed, do not, i repeat do not eat edibles, and if you’re gonna smoke any weed, grow it first in your grandmas basement.