busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, March 30, 2020

    today the white house health experts said 

    it’s gonna be between 100k-200k people who will die.

    on one hand that sounds like a lot, on the other, when you factor in how long it took us all to get in our damn house

    it doesnt seem like many considering how many live here.

    also, they say it’ll only take a few months.

    if it’s longer, ive got ideas. let me tell you.

    either way, and i have to say that this is an odd feeling

    i feel like i got it earlier this month but i didnt have the fever.

    for two days it was pure evil.

    nothing worked so i just stopped trying and eventually it just died.

    imagine if my fast food injected blood could help be a help for the cure

    why dont they test everyone when we get the mail every morning

    we’re home for pete sake.

    im working hard but i got time to hand over some blood for the nation

  2. Saturday, March 28, 2020

    this month has been busy for journalists – and me 

    here’s what i wrote and co-wrote for Los Angeleno this month

    it’s been wild

    As Pot Sales Boom, Many Encourage Smoke-Free Consumption

    Coronavirus: L.A. Beaches Close; Free Bus Rides for Some of L.A. County

    Dear L.A. Times: Take Down Your Paywall

    Coronavirus: L.A.’s Crime is Down; Angels Star ‘Going Crazy’ at Home

    Angelenos Answer: ‘Are You Middle Class?’

    Local Food Bank Triples in Business, Gets A Bump from Artist Shepard Fairey

    10 Things That Are Suddenly Free

    Coronavirus: A Pause in Mortgage Payments; Beware Zoombombing

    An Open Letter to Uber and Lyft Drivers Right Now

    Coronavirus: Sheriff Warns Strip Clubs to Shutter, MOCA Layoffs

    Predictions for a Post-Coronavirus 2020

    Coronavirus: Garcetti Puts the Kibosh on Hiking, Questions Rise About Test Access

    Coronavirus: 292 Confirmed Cases in the County, Chinese Restaurants Face Xenophobia

    Coronavirus: Governor Asks for Navy Ship to Dock in L.A., Glendora Man Dies After Visiting Florida

    10 Films Streaming Right Now That Will Transport You

    Coronavirus: L.A. County Courts Close; Apple Pan Delivers

    Coronavirus: Moratorium on Parking Tickets; Sheriff to Release Over 600 Inmates

    Meet the Bernie — and Trump — Supporters Hanging Out in Venice

  3. Wednesday, March 25, 2020

    is the world ending? yes. but on purpose. 

    when i was in college — even when i was in the college of creative studies, a place advertised as being an oasis for free thinking and out of the box ideas — i wasn’t always loved by my teachers.

    i had one guy who taught a bible as literature class. he didnt like me. not one bit. which was sad because i liked him and that bible class was part of the reason that i have read the bible 4-5 times now all the way through.

    in the end of the bible [spoiler alert], the world goes to shit. theres locust the size of horses, riding horses, fucking shit up, plagues, terrible things. for some reason in my minds eye theres molten lava everywhere.

    certainly not an environment where you could get good cell phone reception or high internet speeds.

    so in class we were reading Matthew 5. and in my paper (only papers in this class, no tests, hallelujah) i ask, “why is Matthew saying the meek are going to be rewarded with the Earth. does someone really aspire to get a gift that will be fucked up to shit with locust riding locusts roaming about and other creatures like this one that “rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth the mouth of a lion.”

    if a cockroach rises up from the sink drain my girlfriend freaks out, why would anyone, let alone the meek, want to inherit The Earth, if this is what it’s future includes, i asked.

    well my teacher got pissed. i’ll never forget what he wrote. “i have seen this. this is journalism.” an odd thing to write since he often contributed to the local free weekly. he was clearly trying to insult me but in such a bizarre way. he knew i wrote for the college paper. i was in it almost every day. sometimes twice a day.

    this was a bible as literature class. when discussing traditional literature in a class like that, it would be no crime to talk about the end of the novel in relation to its middle. it was weird that he was so offended that i would talk about Revelation where the good people ascended to heaven and the bad people went to Hell, and Earth, this place God and Jesus and the prophets said to ignore, turned into a hellscape?

    so anyway, yes the world is changing rapidly. right before our attention deficit addled eyes.

    we are binge watching the season finale wondering who will remain standing for the inevitable spin offs.

    perhaps what i wrote in the paper that truly upset him was

    fuck the meek.

    the bible isn’t about a bunch of meeks whining about this, being victimized by that, curling up and dying when shitty shit gets in their way.

    this is a collection of stories about how when everyone laughed at noah he kept building that ginormous ark, when joseph got thrown in the pit and sold into slavery he persevered and became the most powerful man in egypt and ended jewish slavery. these are the stories of the strong.

    maybe God is saying don’t be meek, for if you do, you will wind up owning this shit palace.

    the oft repeated theme of the Good Book is what you see here is fine, but it’s not IT.

    yours is the treasure of Heaven.

    we were a planet that didn’t exercise enough, plan for disasters, or give a shit about the environment

    and look at everyone now: insisting on going outside to hike, stocking up for the oncoming doom, and noticing how much of a stain we put on mother nature.

    this is the way it was supposed to end.

    televised, blogged, live streamed and tic tok’ed.

    but until the locust come,

    chill.

  4. Saturday, March 21, 2020

    ive been working so hard and long this week i couldnt stop today 

    as you know i am a bit of a workaholic. even when i was at the academy, working a FT job wasnt enough for me so i started driving for Uber/Lyft at nights and on the weekends.

    so when this crazy sad scary virus started spreading around the world, i upped my production at Los Angeleno. one thing led to another and yesterday they published three of my pieces

    one on the middle class

    one on weed

    and every day ive been doing a daily coronavirus update

    the first two stories were long, involved, fascinating and what i turned in was 2x longer than what was published, but that’s why i value editors. we could all use one or two or three and im glad i have mine.

    anyways im very proud of those stories and grateful that i get to do this right now — especially since so many people are losing their jobs this month.

    but i was soooo beat Friday at 5pm that i just had to put down my phone and unplug my old mac. i nearly cried of exhaustion and stress and the same anxiety that im sure everyones feeling.

    so when amber said this afternoon that we should go to the store to replenish our fridge, we did.

    but i also thought, let me take some pics of LA.

    in my wrap up story there was this great drone footage of parts of LA that were totally empty

    it was eerie.

    sometimes one street or two will close for a movie or a weird sinkhole

    or some bizarre reason

    and i guess this is a bizarre reason

    but rarely are streets Everywhere empty in this town that loves its cars.

    so i said, lets go all the way to the beach and take pics of how empty it is there.

    well, was i surprised.

    people were everywhere.

    the weather was close to 70. everyone had the day off. almost everything had been shut down unless it was deemed “essential”

    so people decided to grab their skateboards and surfboards

    and children

    and walk around venice and santa monica and malibu beach and

    completely ignore the pleas for everyone to stay safe, stay at home.

    now you might say, well what about you?

    and i would say, im documenting this. im not in my swimtrunks having a picnic on a grassy knoll.

    im not playing hackey sack

    or doing 360 McTwists in the skate park.

    even though it’s Saturday, im doing my job, which for Los Angeleno it is: telling you what the locals are doing.

    and they are not staying at home.

    it was weird.

    it was especially weird to see parents bring their kids out.

    and dont get me wrong. i dont know what the hell i would be doing if i had kids. especially if i lived near the beach. or close enough to drive. or Lord help us, if we were all stuck together in a cramped apartment.

    and im no scientist, but isn’t the ONLY way that this spreads is if we go outside and touch things and get too close to people and do unnecessary things?

    surfing is unnecessary.

    renting an electric bike and cruising down the boardwalk is unnecessary.

    do we need this sort of activity? Hell yes.

    but we also need to stay in the house for a while.

    with that said, props to those who stayed far away from each other.

    ilu,

    tony

  5. Wednesday, March 18, 2020

    the streets were empty so we just drove 

    south this time because we had been everywhere.

    the sun was there thanks to daylight savings

    and there was no traffic because of a virus that gets in your lungs

    and kills you.

    at first they thought only people in their 80s were dying

    but then younger and younger people were getting it

    and dying and dying and dying

    so they shut down everything. everything.

    you cant eat in the restaurants any more but you can drive through or pick up. just go.

    south we went.

    we’re trying to go south to tj but my passport refuses to show up.

    amber got hers last week which is nuts because we renewed ours at the same place at the same time on the same day on the same order.

    we want to go down there to get her insulin and any other drugs she needs for her diabetes

    cant even get clorox wipes up here, the fear is insulin might be scarce one day

    if the mexicans are smart, which they are, theyd jack up the prices a little

    cuz they know we are terrified. theres a costco in tijuana.

    people are flooding there from san diego to get tp and other things that are out of stock in san diego

    im tempted to go there for that stuff too but i dont wanna cross the border with my car. i just want to get there early in the morning, walk across. get the shit. come back.

    wrote a little about my old pal nate, and then he wrote 10 movie suggestions for things to watch while on lock down.

    im busier than ever on lock down.

    today is just wednesday.

  6. Monday, March 16, 2020

    dear log, the world is ending 

    if the Future is around still to read this,

    currently we are in the middle of a pandemic, nbd

    people are dying in italy and china and even here in the usa

    terrible situation that has the entire bay area on lockdown

    and here in LA they shut down the bars and told the restaurants they can only serve things to-GTFOH

    which is fine.

    amber was let off work early today so i got her and we drove straight home cuz you die if you get too close to anyone else.

    i talked to the security guard across the street and then to my neighbor, but we all kept our distance from each other.

    instead of meeting at this nutty coffee shop in echo park, today my work had our weekly meeting via the phone

    and i basically said id write everything i can as much as i can all the time all night, but im mentally frazzled

    because this isnt the way i expected things to go

    which is fine.

    but they are moving baseball to may, which is nuts, it’ll be july if theyre lucky

    nba and nhl will probs go straight to the playoffs whenever that happens.

    poor king james is 35, he really wanted to do it with the lakers but he might lose a step

    unless he works his ass off erry day during this time out.

    movie theaters are closed. amc said theyd suspend my account there temporarily which is fine cuz i pay a monthly fee to see the movies and i love it.

    called my dentist cuz i have an appointment thursday and said i was cancelling and i asked the young lady if the dentist’s mom was there, she was, so we talked and i said, i convinced my mom not to work at the illinois elections, something she loves, what do i have to do to have you go home too?

    this lovely woman is older than my mom.

    she said, oh i feel good.

    i said ok then.

    and i told her how nice it always is to see her. which is true.

    i kid about we are all gonna die because we are not, but everything is shut down and theres not a lot of food and finally today the president got his head out of his ass and started taking this seriously probably because the stock market sunk faster than even the worst day in 1927

    and all he cares about is that scoreboard.

    and today it did

    not

    say ice cube’s a pimp.

    it said donald j asswipe done fucked up and keeps fucking up fuck him.

    which is fine.

    everythings fine.

    this is fine.

  7. Wednesday, March 11, 2020

    what can you do 

    is there anything you can do?

    ambers been watching all these shows talking about the cornyvirus and its freaking her out

    so this morning bright and early we got up and went shopping for supplies.

    and let me tell you, trader joes was packed. i asked the cashier if it was always like this at that hour and she said nope.

    we got all sorts of water, tp, and all this stuff that put her mind at ease. and then we went to whole foods 365 which is like if whole foods took it down a notch and chilled out with the bullshit.

    she got more stuff there and it didnt rain too much today so we were able to get things done.

    and best of all i nearly finished my piece im writing about a radio reporter.

    it’s loooooonnnnng.

    but very good. im very happy, for once in my life. happy about something im writing.

    usually im all, ok thats a funny line, or this tells the story leave me alone

    but rarely am i like, you might be good today.

    so its 3am. i should just finish but im so tired.

    my cats are so funny. i try to keep them out of my room. also, they dont like their nails being trimmed.

    so now any time they come in here i trim a nail or try to. and they run off.

    but they never learn. they keep coming back. they got the whole house whats so great about this one little corner?

    and now prince is asleep, one foot inside the room.

  8. Tuesday, March 10, 2020

    am i always glad shes there 

    yes

    but for some reason theres a wolf in side of me

    and it is never satisfied

    theres an engine revving in him

    he wants to roam

    dont matter where

    but its better at night

    why can i see better then

    why am i so calm

    shes a good girl especially in the rain,

    snoozing as the metal pings out there

    looking good in her sleepytimes

    but in a perfect world id have a monster truck

    creeping along the slick back roads

    soaking it in

    seeing whats up

    eating

    every thing

    along the way.

     

  9. Monday, March 9, 2020

    My predictions for the rest of this month 

    – Everything will be cancelled

    – Hotels will slash prices for locals

    – Congress will shut down

    – Amazon will send lucky Prime members free TP and hand sanitizers when they order Amazon products

    – Mike Pence will resign after Trump disputes the numbers coming from actual official sources

    – Rage Against The Machine will do a free show at the Coliseum where Kaiser will administer free testing of the coronavirus sponsored by Corona

    – Bernie surges in the primaries after getting on CNN yelling NOW WHO IS LAUGHING AT UNIVERSAL MEDICAL CARE?

    – Rand Paul becomes the second senator to quarantine himself

    – Mexico closes its borders to the US

    – Led Zeppelin reunites

    – Weed becomes legal nationally

    – No federal judges are approved

    – Canada sends boats of meds to Washington state

    – U2 plays an unforgettable concert in the empty Coachella polo grounds that’s broadcast live to the world which raises money for the DNC to dethrone Trump who has bungled this medical emergency

    – Netflix offers a month free because everyone is home, scared to go out to the movie theaters

    – Streaking returns

    – Nobody pays attention to any of the Kardashians until one of them gets the sniffles in a very special episode