1. Monday, May 18, 2020

    if i was a teacher 

    i would first want to study writers block. because when you think you have mastered it it creeps up on you and paralyzes you.

    there are tons of excuses your brain makes up about it: you are distracted, youre tired. Youre not stoned enough. Youre too stoned. Its a bad story, you cant write, youre old your magic is gone. You just cant.

    But the truth is, if you just get down to it you can do it.

    Heres my problem. Right now a lot of this feels like my LAist times. Except at LAist i never had deadlines and no one could ever tell me no. So i was free. I dont remember there being any writers block.

    I had lots of other blocks though, time mostly, time sped by because i was editing, recruiting people, getting people into shows, finding photographers, dealing with brands who wanted shit, soooo many other obstacles for writing.

    But now i have none. So i create obstacles like setting up way too many interviews. Trying to make the stories way more complicated. Rearranging my closets. Fighting with my sweetheart. Watching everything on TV. Suddenly its too late and i gotta go to sleep.

    And then i blog at 1111pm when i should be writing.

    Recently i havent wanted to finish things. I have no idea why. I want to go on to the next thing, and better, i want to be ready for the Spur of the Moment thing. And the only way to be ready is to have an open plate. But im not

    I dont know why im doing this to myself.

    Now is the time to shine. Now is the time to head to the next level.

    Now is the time to remind the haters the critics and the demons in my head that im the motherfrickin busblog. Peerless. The one who kept blogging even when erryone else quit. The one who was never the best but was always there. Was always pumping out the hits. Always doing the damn thing even if all that meant was telling you how crazy blogging is.

    If i was a teacher i would say, tell me your deepest darkest most fucked up secret. Bring it in tomorrow

    And then i would not read them i would say to them, you completed the assignment

    It doesnt matter what you wrote. What you did took courage and that was actually the assignment: writing through the scary part and handing it in on time.