1. Wednesday, May 13, 2020

    is this what happens as you get older? you get angry? 

    is it the covid? is it how i feel after doing my roundups every day? i am so angry.

    i have headaches every day. my hands are sore. my heart is broken.

    its gotta be the roundups. but i like doing them. i know im good at them. and i want to know these things.

    but i should be doing other things. i should be walking. i should be driving. i should figure out how to transcribe faster. i should get a second job so i could just pay someone to transcribe. but what world do i live in? most people cant even find one job, i think i can have two?

    i fight all the time. with everyone. every day. im a mess. i need a break. but to do what? sleep? sit on my ass? even my cats piss me off. the shower. the screwdriver.

    if i could tell this lettuce on my egg sandwich how lackluster it was i would.

    do i miss the Cubs? yes. do i miss the outdoors? yes. should i have my windows open? yes.

    yes. yes yes

    i can see why people freak out about having a hair cut.

    they dont want a damn hair cut.

    they wanna know theyre not going to die without a fight.