ive been doing this thing on IG

where every day i am writing about a job i had.

i started with my first job at McDonalds and yesterday i wrote about working at the Daily Nexus in college.

this is a picture of me and former EIC pat whalen reading Friday’s paper that morning.

nobody’s there because we didn’t have papers on Saturday but somehow we both ended up there

as did Joel Brand who took this picture.

back then it was rare to take pictures but Joel was/is rich so he not only had a camera but a damn good one, and knew how to use it.

so pat and i were reading the paper, going over every story. writing, design, humor, killer lines.

i remember one day we did this he totally insulted the arts section i had done that previous night.

i was like, youre kidding, right?

he spoke slurry like hunter s thompson, and whispery

“i dont kid this early in the day.”

then he started red penning things.

i was stunned.

a several months later we were on that same couch, and like in this picture, nobody was in the newsroom.

not even joel.

i had been fired by pat’s best friend larry for telling him he couldnt submit his dumbass pre-write about Sinbad at the Pub because it was late. Larry said, but im the EIC. i said dont you understand, if everyone sees that even the rules apply to you, then i’ll never have a story submitted late again.

i was running something crazy like 20 pieces a week in our 8 page section.

he said, if you dont run this you’re fired.

i said, you cant fire me, the section isn’t put to bed.

so Larry watched me work all night and when we were done he said yah fired.

a few months later he hired me back because the Gulf War was starting and the paper needed a few more writers.

pat negotiated a summit where larry would leave me alone, i would be a co-news editor but i had to stick it out.

well, that war was a bummer. and i was writing stupid stories like people getting flag poles to show their support to the troops. i hated everything, so i quit.

so larry told pat, see i told you he’d quit. screw you tony, youre banned.

i was a senior, i had a girlfriend, i lived a 10 minute walk from the beach, fine, some time off so i could live like a normal student for my last few months in college. works for me.

but then the california collegiate awards deadline was approaching. no one had called me to see which of my arts sections should be submitted for state.

which is how i ended up on that couch with pat, like i was telling you.

i said, pat, which ones are they submitting.

he said, none, they’re going to submit the Video Guys’ sections. i said, dude, let video guy have three issues and i have three issues. and we went through the ones that should be mine.

and during spring break we all went up to sacramento

and for the first time ever the daily nexus won best arts section in state

and it was mine.

and i won it in a dress

and as i was walking up to get my little plaque i could hear pat

with his elongated delivery

irony of ironieeeeeeeees!

so yes, i love this picture.

and mr w. patrick whalen.

i think ive figured out my problem

when people ask rhetorical questions on Twitter, i think they’re talking to me.

so i answer.

and when i see videos of people struggling to make it in LA,

i want to help.

but here are the two things that come to my mind when i see something like this guy who drove here

and sleeps in his car and wakes up and does delivery for Postmates and Uber Eats

if i had a backyard guest house, and i let him live there, doesn’t that ruin his shitch?

but i also think, how excellent would it be if everyone treated everyone like that

because who, then, wouldn’t want to vagabond the crust

and sleep in peoples backyard man caves?

they say the problem with Libras are our minds are tooooo open.

there are too many options and possibilities.

that it’s hard to make a choice.

but maybe because im on the scorpio cusp, i dont have that problem

i usually know what i want.

i want to help.

i sent him some money and my email address.

he’s doing a lot of things totally wrong

but he’s also seeing things that most of us take for granted like venice, the hollywood reservoir (i havent even been there), the free showers at the beach.

it’s funny though. right now COVID is whalloping LA and amber, finally, is understanding the magnitude, so she’s paranoid to go to the post office.


so i told her we should just taskrabbit it. hire someone $20 to go to the post office for us.

“i dont wanna make someone else get COVID because i didnt wanna go out there.”

but then i saw this guy and i was all, fuckit, just get him to do it. he’s already out there.

and who couldn’t use $20 for such a simple task?

i could probably also give him some extra pillows and a coat.

towels. who knows.

it’s Christmas.